July 10, 2012
I'm still calling it Atlantic Av — Pacific St
Even Hova won't call it Atlantic Av — Barclays Center.
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And what does Jay-Z's buddy Trey Anastasio think of the MTA's renaming of the station?
Posted by eric at 11:48 AM
Searching For Spike Lee (episode 1)
Dallas Penn via Vimeo
Internets Celebrities' Dallas Penn goes in search of Spike Lee.
Posted by eric at 11:12 AM
April 27, 2012
Caption Contest
Develop Don't Destroy Brooklyn via Facebook
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Photo: Debbie Egan-Chin/NY Daily News
Posted by eric at 3:16 PM
February 12, 2012
Bruce de Blasio?
| In today's New York Post article about Bruce Ratner's contributions to Public Advocate Bill de Blasio's campaign, Mayor-bid $ecrets, there is a mislabeled picture in the on-line version: |
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| This is clearly not a picture of Bruce Ratner, but, with Bruce's permanent campaign to purchase political influence, the picture's caption probably should be "Might as well be Bruce Ratner". |
Posted by steve at 5:38 PM
December 21, 2011
PARK SLOPE PROFILES IN COURAGE: MIKE SACKS, HUMOR WRITER
F**ked in Park Slope
FIPS interviews humorist Mike Sacks.
Can you give me an elevator pitch for a TV show about Park Slope?
I’d love to see a TV show in which Marty Markowitz is chased by a pack of jackals through the Atlantic Yards construction site. That’s pretty much it. Marty Markowitz being chased by a pack of wild jackals through the Atlantic Yards construction site. Run, Marty, run! Fuggedaboutit!
Posted by eric at 10:29 AM
November 24, 2011
Happy Thanksgiving!
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Wishing all our loyal readers a happy, healthy and boondoggle-free Thanksgiving.
Posted by eric at 11:22 AM
September 19, 2011
Cartoon Finish: Rats Find a Home in Fort Greene
The Local [Fort Greene/Clinton Hill]
by Alexander Gruss
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"I’ve been noticing that rats are becoming a regular feature in the neighborhood"
Artist Alexander Gruss sent us this cartoon, his take on the rats of Brooklyn.
NoLandGrab: He forgot "Rats, Rats & Hoops."
Posted by eric at 11:11 AM
August 27, 2011
Brooklyn’s home for the Nets
Barkitecture
Here's a fanciful version of Nets history to help explain the architecture of the new Nets arena.
The NBA franchise Hair Nets (commonly referred to simply as “the Nets”) of New Jersey needed a home that represented the pride of the team in its new home. The Nets have a history of moving venues, back and forth between New York and New Jersey. A founding member of the ABA and originally named the New York Americans, the team was renamed to rhyme with two other New York sports franchises with histories of remarkable success, the Mets and the Jets. The new name, the Hair Nets, was also meant to represent a lower, heartier class to distinguish themselves from the Knicks, favorites of the city’s elite, who pay top dollar to sit court side. This time, the venue is being built for them.
The design is a fluid, swooping, and nearly literal adaptation of a hair net display. (Others have thought the design was inspired by other influences. These can be seen if you follow this link and scroll to the bottom.) For emphasis, the architects teamed up with German-born, and New Jersey-raised artist, Kiki Smith who created a bust with a hair net.
Posted by steve at 11:09 PM
August 9, 2011
"Watch the Throne": New Jay-Z/Kanye collabo features ode to "Barclays"
Hip Hop Chop Shop
by E-MAC
We wouldn't have believed it if we hadn't heard it with our own ears — the brand-new Jay-Z and Kanye West opus, "Watch the Throne," features a cameo by King of Brooklyn Bruce Ratner on the track "Barclays."
Sample lyrics:
"Protest at the museum, can't even see 'em,
Took my placemat in the Maybach, sticker price shock."
..."Silver shovels in the ground, Mike and Bruce on the scene,
Swingin' the wreckin' ball at that punk*ss Goldstein."
..."And that guy with blogorrhea, Norman Oder,
Carve him up with my light saber, just like Yoda."
Posted by eric at 5:21 PM
July 3, 2011
Brooklyn’s 100 Most Embarrassing People Of All Time (That I Can Think Of)
Brooklyn Breeder
Brooklyn Breeder's Allison Pennell brings us a holiday weekend list that features a handful of folks who honed their annoyingness on Atlantic Yards.
Last week, Gothamist came out with its colossal “listicle” of 100 Reasons Why Brooklyn Lives Up To Its Hype. Can’t wait for Queens, btw!
I was inspired and awed. So inspired that I decided to do a Brooklyn 100 of my own.
First I was just going to do famous assholes in honor of learning that Lloyd Blankfein of Goldman Sachs was a Brooklyn boy. But that wasn’t going to get me to 100. Not that we’re not at capacity but better to go for a bigger catch all: cringe-inducing, wise-assy, know-it-all-ish, over-compensating, pseudo-intellectual, criminal, schmucky, and/or just plain annoying. Essentially: a list of one hundred people past and present who make Brooklyn so very Brooklyn.
...Bruce Ratner Shitty real estate destroyer of Brooklyn neighborhoods. Maybe used to live here, maybe not.
...Carl Kruger Hypocritical, outed and thieving State Senator for old-school Brooklyn accused of bribery and money-laundering.
...Marty Markowitz Can’t wait for the mayoral campaign! Go Marty! Away.
NoLandGrab: We might be able to come up with a list of Atlantic Yards's 100 Most Embarrassing People of All Time without trying too hard.
Posted by eric at 7:12 PM
June 28, 2011
The traffic on 4th Ave is so bad right now you'd think there's a game at the Barclays Center
@BrooklynSpoke via Twitter
Posted by eric at 10:30 PM
April 1, 2011
Press Release: Prokhorov's Nets to Utilize Obscure BS-5 Green Card Program to Lure New Talent
via Develop Don't Destroy Brooklyn
Nets to Use Federal BS-5 Hope For Hoops Program
Mikhail Prokorov's Nets to Utilize Obscure Federal Immigration Program in Desperate Effort to Find New Hoops Talent, Fund New Concessions, and Pay Off Prokhorov Debts
April 1, 2011
NEWARK, NEW JERSEY - Newark Nets President Brett Yormark announced today that the 23-51 Nets, coming off another devastating season on and off the court, plan to utilize an obscure federal green card program for which NBA commissioner David Stern had long lobbied Congress in the hopes of injecting new, unknown talent and funds into the basketball league.
The program, officially called the BS-5 Hope for Hoops Program but called BS-5 for short, allows NBA teams with at least four losing seasons in a row to offer green cards and a spot on their roster to any foreign investors willing to lend a minimum of $20 million to the team. The team is also required to start the foreign investor in at least five games during the season, and give the player a minimum of 5 minutes per game. If the team improves upon the past four season's records, the investor gets his/her money returned in full with interest (at a rate of .05 percent).
The BS-5 program also allows the franchise to expand its active roster by a maximum of ten players, all of whom must be BS-5 players. All BS-5 investors must be at least 5' 11".
According to the legislation enacting the BS-5 program, the funds from these foreign investors are to be used solely to improve the quality of the basketball team on the floor and the team's win-loss record through player development, the free agency market and trades.
Posted by eric at 12:22 PM
Highway Removery: Bloomberg Says “My Way Is the Highway,”- Private-Public Partnership Finally Bridging a Gulf
Noticing New York
News about the decades-old effort to remake the Brooklyn-Queens Expressway ties, naturally, to Atlantic Yards.
The Bloomberg administration just announced intentions to accelerate materialization of an intriguing part of Mayor Michael Bloomberg’s PlaNYC 2030, (which plan was announced during his second term) in order to bring about, before the completion of Bloomberg’s third term, the platforming and building over the Brooklyn Queens Expressway that separates Brooklyn’s Red Hook and Carroll Gardens. Nine new blocks of residential housing will be created. Perhaps even bigger news is that the Bloomberg administration has, with some hoopla, unveiled its intentions to implement the construction via an ambitious new form of private-public partnership, supported by charitable dollars, that it says will create a windfall for the public.
...Jumping with sharp-eyed alacrity into the unfolding events, State Senator Daniel Squadron has co-authored a proposal with Assemblywoman Joan Millman: They are urging that the envisioned windfall increase in values be captured with tax increment-financing to divert the resulting increased property taxes to pay expenses for the Brooklyn Bridge Park. Noting that the building over the BQE will be taking place just blocks away from the park, Squadron observed that the new structures being erected will greatly expand the population accessing and benefitting from the park every day. Squadron pointed out that, in all probability, the reason the Bloomberg administration now found it attractive to accelerate this proposed development was because of the world-class contributions the park would be making to neighborhood aesthetics and amenities.
For many, the platforming over the BQE is considered long overdue. Although it was included as an element of the mayor’s 2030 plan, the idea had been urged long before that, including some serious discussion in 1980. Above is an image from architect Susannah Drake from her DLANDSTUDIO, whose proposals preceded the mayor’s adoption of them into his plan (the above envisioning is only a park- no buildings).
...Bloomberg L.P. was not always the first choice to be the private developer side of the private-public partnership. The city originally leaned toward selection of Forest City Ratner. Seth Pinsky, President of the mayor’s New York City Economic Development Corporation said that a lot of people viewed the Ratner organization merely as a professional subsidy collection organization. “That underestimates Ratner,” said Mr. Pinsky, “by the time Ratner has completed the Atlantic Yards project it will have learned a lot about platform construction. The superior expertise garnered at taxpayer expense should not be discounted or wasted.” Nevertheless, Mr. Pinsky said the city had problems with the Ratner organization leading to the decision to switch to the expertise available if things are managed under Doctoroff and his people.
“First,” said Pinsky, “there are the Ridge Hill and Kruger indictment tapes concerning Forest City Ratner’s participation in bribing government officials. We are not sure all the tapes made have surfaced yet.” Secondly, said Pinsky, there is a question of good government: “When you are NOT taking bids it looks bad to keep handing out swaths of the city to the same real estate development firms. It looks like the mayor is playing favorites. It is better to take turns and hand out deals on a rotating basis.”
...Bloomberg expects to reduce the overall cost of the project (and boost returns to investors on the equity side of the transaction) by directing into it charity funds that are under his control. To that end, funds Bloomberg collected through the Mayor's Fund to Advance the City for the victims of the recent Japanese disasters may be temporarily rerouted or “reutilized.” “In the end the Japanese will get these monies with interest,” said Bloomberg, “we will be setting the whole thing up with long-term zero-coupon capital appreciation bonds....
"At least, whatever we do, we’re paying an internal rate of interest at a LIBOR rate set by Barclays.”
Posted by eric at 11:55 AM
Forest City Ratner News Release: "The Arena Can Wait. Affordable Housing Now!"
via Develop Don't Destroy Brooklyn
This shocking news release from Forest City Enterprises just landed in our mailbox.
FOREST CITY ENTERPRISES
NEWS RELEASE
The Arena Can Wait. Affordable Housing Now.
Forest City Ratner Prioritizes Affordable Housing Over Barclays Center Arena In Brooklyn Atlantic Yards Project
CLEVELAND, Ohio and BROOKLYN, New York - April 1, 2011 - Forest City Enterprises, Inc. (NYSE: FCE.A and FCE.B) today announced that the Barclays Center Arena for which it broke ground just over one year ago, is going on the backburner so the development firm can break ground on the affordable housing units it has long promised to construct for Brooklyn.
Bruce Ratner, chairman and chief executive officer of Forest City Ratner Companies, the company's New York-based subsidiary, and other Forest City executives, were joined by New York Governor Andrew Cuomo, New York City Mayor Michael Bloomberg, Brooklyn Borough President Marty Markowitz, Barclays PLC President Robert E. Diamond, Jr., NETS investor and cultural icon Shawn "JAY-Z" Carter, and many other community leaders to happily announce that they realized the depravity of constructing a money-losing, billion dollar arena in the middle of housing crisis and will immediately commence construction of affordable housing towers.
Click through for the rest of the release.
Posted by eric at 11:48 AM
December 30, 2010
Close, but no cigar
Here are a couple headlines that caused us to do double-takes today.
Bloomberg, Rattner Will Pay $10 Million to Settle Cuomo Probe
NoLandGrab: Two Ts? Damn.
Los Angles Times, Former Russian oligarch gets 14-year sentence
NLG: Former? Ach.
Posted by eric at 9:10 PM
Only a few days left to support The Civilians in 2010!
This very funny fundraising appeal from The Civilians just hit our in-box.
Only a few days left to support The Civilians in 2010!
Get your donation in before December 31st to take advantage of the tax deduction this year!And don't forget: The Civilians is still seeking Russian Oligarchs to lead us to victory in our tenth anniversary season!
If 250 people sign on to be The Civilians' Russian Oligarchs with a donation of $25 or more, we will have A PARTY for all of you with free vodka shots!
Click HERE to donate now!
Because we cannot go to China and use the EB-5 provision to exchange green cards for investments...
Because we don’t anticipate that the Forest City Ratner Companies Foundation will be funding The Civilians this year...
Because we aren’t changing our name to The Barclays Center for Investigative Theater...
...we invite you to swoop in on your jet-ski and
BE THE CIVILIANS’ RUSSIAN OLIGARCH!
Posted by eric at 10:19 AM
December 22, 2010
New York’s High Court Finally Gets Something Right
Reason Hit & Run
by Damon W. Root
It’s been an abysmal few years at New York’s Court of Appeals. First, the Empire State’s highest court voted to rubber stamp the despicable Atlantic Yards land grab, thereby allowing corporate welfare recipient Bruce Ratner (and his ugly allies) to profit at the expense of homeowner Daniel Goldstein, the fine folks at Freddy’s Bar, and other Brooklyn property owners and residents. Then the Court of Appeals allowed New York state to use eminent domain on behalf of—and in collusion with—Columbia University, thereby privileging the elite private institution at the expense of family business owner Nick Sprayregen. So it’s a strange day indeed to find good news coming out of that flawed judicial body. But as the Associated Press reports, the Court of Appeals just got one right:
Slices, hooks and other errant shots are a common hazard on the links and a golfer can't expect to get a warning shout of "Fore!" every time a ball comes his way, New York's top court ruled Tuesday in dismissing a personal injury lawsuit.
Bottom line? The courts won't protect you anywhere in New York State.
Posted by eric at 10:46 AM
December 17, 2010
Roofus: Atlantic Yards remains a circus, Ringling or not
The Brooklyn Paper
by Christian Fleming
Posted by steve at 11:43 AM
December 16, 2010
Roofus: Atlantic Yards remains a circus, Ringling or not
The Brooklyn Paper
by Christian Fleming
This week, Roofus reacts to the deal between Atlantic Yards developer Bruce Ratner and the producers of the Ringling Brothers circus.
Posted by eric at 10:38 AM
December 1, 2010
Enough kvetching already. RT @NoLandGrab 1,100 Space Parking Lot at Issue in Latest Atlantic Yards Fight
@ShellySilver via Twitter
If @ShellySilver keeps it up, he will get his giant bobblehead.
But wait, there's more:
Posted by eric at 2:05 PM
June 20, 2010
Sunday Funny: Mikhail Prokhorov Nets
bjackbjack33 via YouTube
This video is ostensibly a series of outtakes from an earlier video, also posted on YouTube.
Posted by steve at 11:00 AM
June 13, 2010
Sunday Comix
The New Yorker
By David Sipress
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NoLandGrab: Alternate caption: "We LOST again, and guess what? A Russian oligarch wants to buy us!"
Posted by steve at 10:00 AM
May 19, 2010
Caption Contest | What Are They Saying?
City Room
Mayor Michael R. Bloomberg had Jay-Z over for breakfast at Gracie Mansion this morning. Also at the table were the developer Bruce C. Ratner and the Russian oligarch Mikhail D. Prokhorov. Presumably the main topic of conversation was Atlantic Yards and/or the Nets. But who knows? Perhaps you have an idea. Put yourself in an empire-building state of mind and let us know in the comments below. And, please — hard as this may be to believe — no profanity.
NoLandGrab: "I hate that &#%@! site too!"
Posted by eric at 1:07 PM
April 18, 2010
Brucie and Bloomie Fight For Planet Blandora
Brooklynian
by Karl the Druid
Last week's charges that Mikhail Prokhrov's Zimbabwe dealings might prohibit him from buying the Nets seemed to prompt the creation of this image (and a few others - check out the link and scroll down).
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Posted by steve at 8:10 AM
April 11, 2010
Sunday Comix: Our illustrator imagines Ratner’s ‘meditation room’
Brooklyn Paper
By Cristian Fleming
After reading about Bruce Ratner’s “meditation room” in the new Barclays Center, artist Cristian Fleming imagined what it might be like.
Posted by steve at 8:19 AM
April 3, 2010
Coop to Purchase Key Food Property on Fifth Avenue
Linehater's Gazette
by Al Dente
The big news in the April 1st edition of the Park Slope Food Coop's Linewaiter's Gazette is that the famous cooperative supermarket is expanding — to the detriment of an infamous real estate developer.
The Coop first heard of the possibility that the property was going on the market last year. It’s a large parcel of land on trendy Fifth Avenue, making it irresistible to real estate developers. In fact, Bruce Ratner, the controversial developer of Atlantic Yards, expressed a serious interest, saying, “I think that it’s important to keep constructing more luxury condominium towers in this part of Brooklyn.” Other developers were interested as well, but Ratner was the most serious contender. He was in negotiations with the mayor’s office about tax breaks for the property when the Coop stepped in and made an offer. Ratner made a counter-offer and a bidding war ensued.
However, Ratner eventually withdrew from negotiations when the mayor’s office refused him eminent domain status for the property, leaving the Coop with the winning bid.
article [PDF]
NoLandGrab: You can't make this stuff up — or maybe you can.
Posted by eric at 11:54 AM
April 1, 2010
Forest City Ratner News Release: "The Arena Can Wait. Affordable Housing Now!"
via Develop Don't Destroy Brooklyn
This shocking news release from Forest City Enterprises just landed in our mailbox.
FOREST CITY ENTERPRISES
NEWS RELEASE
The Arena Can Wait. Affordable Housing Now.
Forest City Ratner Prioritizes Affordable Housing
Over Barclays Center Arena
In Brooklyn Atlantic Yards ProjectCLEVELAND, Ohio and BROOKLYN, New York - April 1, 2010 - Forest City Enterprises, Inc. (NYSE: FCE.A and FCE.B) today announced that the Barclays Center Arena for which it broke ground just three weeks ago, is going on the backburner so the development firm can break ground on the affordable housing units it has long promised to construct for Brooklyn.
Bruce Ratner, chairman and chief executive officer of Forest City Ratner Companies, the company's New York-based subsidiary, and other Forest City executives, were joined by New York Governor David Paterson, New York City Mayor Michael Bloomberg, Brooklyn Borough President Marty Markowitz, Barclays PLC President Robert E. Diamond, Jr., NETS investor and cultural icon Shawn "JAY-Z" Carter, and many other community leaders to happily announce that they realized the depravity of constructing a money-losing, billion dollar arena in the middle of housing crisis and will immediately commence construction of affordable housing towers.
Bruce Ratner announced, specifically, that all preliminary work on the arena would cease immediately so that the construction crews could begin constrcution of the residential towers, all fourteen of which Ratner said would be built within five years.
Forest City has told Mikhail Prokhorov's Onexim Sports & Entertainment that Barclays Center may be a good business venture for him and his ownership of the Nets may be good for his portfolio, but that they are sorry, the priority must be housing over bread and circuses.
Click thru for lots more.
Posted by eric at 11:11 AM
EPA Orders Atlantic Yards Project Halted as Rare Species Discovered
mcbrooklyn
Adding yet another delay to the Atlantic Yards process, the Environmental Protection Agency ordered all work stopped at the future Barclays Center Arena site after research scientists identified seven rare, endangered, or threatened plant and animal species there, or about 5.5% of the plant population and 1.9% of the fauna.
Forest City Ratner's planned $4.9 billion Atlantic Yards project includes a basketball arena plus a number of high-rise buildings.
A two-year study of the site, required by environmental laws but overlooked as developer Bruce Ratner successfully fought off a series of lawsuits centered around eminent domain and other legal issues, came to the surprising conclusion that the immediate area provides critical habitat for several unique wildlife species such as the Chittenango ovate amber snail, in addition to other documented rare and threatened plant species.
The Chittenango snail is New York's most endangered native animal, and was once believed to exist only at Chittenango Falls State Park in Central New York.
"Frankly, we were pretty shocked," said Dr. Fran Milsner of the Department of Environmental Protection (DEP).
..."This is totally ridiculous," said Robert Pragnetti, one of developer Bruce Ratner's lawyers. "It's a blighted area. We blighted it ourselves. There's no way in the world anything's going to be living there."
Posted by eric at 10:36 AM
March 29, 2010
Celebrate Passover With Atlantic Yards Themed Haggadah!
Gothamist
Sure, Gothamist is just linking back to us, but we've got to keep up with those other guys. Besides, it's a funny post.
Forget being cast out of Egypt; this year Jews all over Brooklyn can sympathize with the families being evicted from the Atlantic Yards and have a topical Seder with this Atlantic Yards themed haggadah!
The youngest at the table can ask such questions as, "Why is it that in all other projects, the developer dips only into his own budget, but in the Atlantic Yards project the developer dips twice—$100 million from the state's budget and $100 million from the city's budget?"
Then once the kids find the afikoman, everyone can sing "Had Bruce Ratner only given us the Atlantic Center Mall— Dayeinu! It would have been enough!"
Related...
Curbed, Next Year at Atlantic Yards: While everyone else has been busy…
While everyone else has been busy trying to eat as much bread as possible before sundown, one Atlantic Yards obsessive decided to create an Atlantic Yards-themed Passover haggadah. There are four new questions, such as: "Why is it that Brownstone Brooklyn consists of unleavened low-rise buildings, but at Atlantic Yards Bruce Ratner wants to building seventeen high-rise buildings?"
Posted by eric at 9:11 PM
March 14, 2010
Caption This: Beyonce At Barclays Center Groundbreaking Ceremony
That Grape Juice
Superstar Beyonce supported hubby Jay-Z at the Barclays Center Groundbreaking Ceremony this Thursday (March 12th) at the Atlantic Yards in New York. The rapper / businessman spoke about the arena, which will eventually serve as the home of the NBA’s New Jersey Net’s – which the 40 year old is a part owner of.
While you can check out more snaps from the event below, I couldn’t help but request a ‘caption this’ from you all for the pic above…it’s just screaming for it! LOL.
Posted by steve at 11:32 AM
March 11, 2010
Mildly insulted that the Atlantic Yards protesters didn't make a giant bobblehead for me.
"ShellySilver" via Twitter
Posted by eric at 6:53 PM
February 4, 2010
Jay-Z Asked To Call Off Nets Attack On Homeless Families AFP Article Highlights Worldwide, Embarassing New York City
MartinLutherKingHomeless
A group calling itself MartinLutherKingHomeless has asked iconic Brooklyn-born-and-bred entertainer and Nets minority investor Jay-Z to add his voice to efforts to reopen the Prospect Heights homeless shelter closed on January 15th to make way for a parking lot.
An article appearing today in hundreds of publications worldwide in several languages about homeless children in New York, NY has prompted community groups in the area of one shelter featured in the article to reach out to New York's most famous entertainer to help them improve New York City's image in the world by re-open[ing] the family homeless shelter closed by his billionaire business partner. Families United for Racial and Economic Equality (F.U.R.E.E.), Friends of 227 Abolitionist Place, Picture the Homeless, Prospect Heights Action Coalition,and neighboring Freddy's Bar have joined in contacting Jay-Z, whose song, Empire State of Mind is at the top of the charts, to ask if there is something he can do to help re-open the shelter. Jay-Z is most likely unaware that the shelter was closed by billionaire Bruce Ratner, a business partner of Jay-Z's. The two are co-owners of the New Jersey Nets basketball team. The Barclays Center stadium, which will house the Nets, if it is ever built (and doubts are high on that) necessitated that the shelter be closed and torn down to make a parking lot.
The Pacific Dean Family Homeless Shelter, at 603 Dean St. was closed at Mr. Ratner's request on January 15, which is Martin Luther King's Birthday. Closing an important shelter serving African-American and Caribbean-American families in the dead of winter and on Dr. King's birthday has outraged the local community.
Posted by eric at 4:45 PM
February 3, 2010
Jay-z and Beyonce are mason's?
IslandMix.com
In response to speculation that Jay-Z and Beyoncé are practicing some kind of funky religion, HelloAgainBrooklyn posts:
He is a devil for all the social ills he promote in his music and puts in a palatable form so mainstream america accepts it and it gets excused because he rubs elbows with bruce ratner and gwyneth paltrow and is bringing the nets to brooklyn.
NoLandGrab: Funny, we thought it was the other way around — that his rubbing elbows with Bruce Ratner gets excused because people like his music.
Posted by eric at 11:15 AM
January 29, 2010
A Call From the Prosecutor and the FBI Agent who have NOT YET Indicted Ratner although they have Evidence in Hand.
Fightin' Freddys
Only a boondoggle as crazy as Atlantic Yards could yield twists and turns as crazy as those taking place as the Fightin' Freddys pursue justice.
BREAKING NEWS - CALL-A-THON GENERATES FIRST CALL FROM FEDS...
In a conference call between the F.B.I., the U.S. Southern District Court, and a co-organizer of yesterday's attempted Citizen's Arrest of Billionaire Bruce Ratner, initiated at 5:03 p.m. on Thursday, January 28, Jason Halpernin, Assistant U.S. Attorney, Southern District of New York and Michael Mazzuca, FBI Special Agent confirmed they had evidence of an alleged bribe paid... to former Yonkers City Council member Sandy Annabi.
...The conversation lasted approximately 6 minutes. The Federal Attorney and the Special Agent informed Mr. de Seve that they were calling because the New York State Attorney General's Office had called to inform them that de Seve had evidence or information with a bearing on the bribery case.
"'I do,' I told them. Mr. Ratner has exhibited sociopathic behavior in closing the Pacific Dean Family Homeless Shelter in the middle of Winter. Locking away from use beds and a roof for up to 80 homeless families. When families come knocking at the door of the shelter to find a warm bed for their children, they will find that door locked."
"I also informed them," de Seve continued, "that the Southern District Court's delay in indicting Mr. Ratner, when they had evidence in hand, could cause an incorrect judgment to be reached Friday morning in New York State Supreme Court, by depriving Judge Abraham Gerges of having a clear view of one of the parties in the Eminent Domain case he would be ruling on."
...De Seve also informed the callers that he believes the delay to be politically motivated, since Mr. Ratner is a campaign contributor to New York State Attorney General Andrew Cuomo, who has also not acted in a timely manner to indict the Billionaire.
...Beyond introducing himself, Special Agent Mazzuca, the person in charge of the FBI investigation of the Ratner/Annabi alleged bribe, said nothing.
"G. Gordon Liddy would have been proud of how he conducted himself. He was a rock. And said exactly as much as a rock would say."
NoLandGrab: Kooky? Maybe. Kookier than the Altantic Yards project? Not even close.
The Fightin' Freddys' full-court press for justice continues. Visit them here for more information on how you can help.
Posted by eric at 2:47 PM
January 22, 2010
Cheese Whiz: Kraft Sponsors Stadium Blow-Up
MediaPost.com
by David Goetzl
Talk about an explosion in marketing messages. Kraft is sponsoring the implosion of the famed Texas Stadium -- now slated for April 11 -- as it looks to plug a new version of its Mac & Cheese brand.
With the Dallas Cowboys having vacated the historic venue, the Irving, Texas city council has a $150,000 arrangement with Kraft for naming rights on the stadium's destruction.
Companies have placed their names on stadiums for years, such as the American Airlines Center in nearby Dallas, but this is believed to be a first time for an implosion.
NoLandGrab: How about naming rights for neighborhood destruction?
Oh, right — Barclays.
Posted by eric at 5:58 PM
January 11, 2010
NBA Announces: The Russians are Coming! As Putin Protege Moves to Buy NY NETS and Gains Rights to Shooting Guard Gilbert Arenas!
The Spoof!
The parody web site finds a little humor in otherwise dismal developments.
The NBA announced today it was one step closer to approving the 'buy in' of Mikhail Prokhorov, Billionaire Putin Protege for a professional basketball team, and the suspension of the suspension of Point & Shoot Guard Gilbert Arenas who was also waived to the NETS as part of the deal to end 'a messy situation' according to NBA officials.
Prokhorov, Russia's wealthiest man, and world's 40th most wealthy, with over $9B, controls the global production of Nickel, Polladium, gold, and Plutonium, the latter which has made him one of Putin's Favorites as the former KGB strongman continues to eliminate his political opposition.
A spokesman for Prokhorov, speaking on the condition of not being identified due to fear of death, said that even though Mikhail has a keen interest in sports, and is himself 6'9", he would not insert himself into the starting lineup, but would be available to 'come off the bench' in case a tragic shooting accident suddenly cut his squad short by 'one or two players.'
...Prokhorov said he came to the aid of Gilbert due to his admiration for the player who showed an affinity for 'Russian Culture, Mores, and History,' and felt he would fit into the new make up for the woeful Nets, who he said would be now transformed into " a powerful, aggressive force that will be FEARED around the league...I fully expect to be in the championship game by the end of the season.....or else!"
Posted by eric at 10:35 AM
January 7, 2010
Bklyn’s in the house: De Blasio takes new Advocate position by storm
Courier-Life Publications
By Thomas Tracy
Bruce Ratner's "Atlantic Yards" project still represents the cognitive dissonance in Bill de Blasio's efforts to advocate for the community:
“Community planning is something I have spent a lot of time working on,” he said. “It’s how we think about our neighborhoods that ensures how we preserve what’s best about them. Bringing in affordable housing and preserving and protecting small business is a very large part of that.”
Yet some of de Blasio’s friends from the old neighborhood may not be applauding his moxie for long, especially since he sees the Atlantic Yards project as an example of a good government/community partnership.
“[The Atlantic Yards project] is a good example of a community benefits plan, that’s why I supported it,” he said. “The process, however, has been horrendous. It needs to be scaled down and some serious changes have to be made.”
NoLandGrab: Developers can rest assured that de Blasio has never really paid more than lip service to the issues involved in the massive redevelopment of our neighborhoods.
Posted by lumi at 4:57 AM
January 1, 2010
Who Wouldn’t Want a Third Baseball Team in Town?
New York Magazine
by Will Leitch
Yesterday, Tim Marchman of Sports Illustrated floated the idea that New York City, this fine burgh in which we take up residence/store our office things, should get a third baseball team in order to help even the playing field. This is ridiculous on its face — as if the Yankees' spending and market share could possibly be slowed by some weird new team — and would never actually happen, but hey, it's the end of December, and baseball's still months away, so … let's play the no-chance-but-why-not-it's-fun game?
...Thus: Brooklyn! Forget the Nets: Now this is an Atlantic Yards project we can get behind. Turning our Cobble Hill neighborhood into a pseudo-Wrigleyville, a fifteen-minute walk to the ballpark, would even make us waver, and we scream old Jack Buck radio calls when woken up in the middle of the night. They would have to have a second entrance for strollers.
This will never happen, in a million years. We still like the idea that a new team would try to capture the Brooklyn Dodgers spirit and end up with a stadium full of Bugaboos, chai lattes, and Maggie Gyllenhaal.
Posted by eric at 10:57 AM
December 27, 2009
Hockey Team Found For Brooklyn Arena
As part of the sale of bonds for the proposed Nets arena, Bruce Ratner tried to imply that a hockey team might play someday in the arena even though the facility's design cannot accommodate a hockey rink.
It appears that a Russian team has been found that will not need a regulation-sized rink.
NoLandGrab: There's cruelty in forcing bears to play hockey just so we can be entertained. It's also cruel to force residents of Prospect Heights to endure decades of developer-created blight for the benefit of a well-connected developer and a Russian oligarch.
Posted by steve at 8:06 AM
December 4, 2009
Happy Holidays from the New Jersey Nets
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Photo: AP/Bill Kostroun
Posted by eric at 11:51 AM
October 31, 2009
Happy Halloween, Atlantic Yards Watchers
Develop Don't Destroy Brooklyn
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Posted by steve at 12:50 PM
October 26, 2009
Hitler, Bruce Ratner and Yi Walk Into a Bar
NetsKidd via Both Teams Played Hard
by Jared Wade
It’s quite possible that this never-ending phenomenon of parodying Hitler’s emotional meltdown from “The Downfall” (which is a rather good movie in and of itself) are not funny anymore. And maybe they never were.
Still, I’ve enjoyed most of the ones I’ve watched no matter the subject, so I guess to me this whole meme is is sorta like the mom joke of the internet. I’ll still laugh even though from a comedic standpoint it’s rather dumb and easy. (Much like your mom.)
As the title suggest, this edition features Adolf as a loyal New Jerseyan pissed about the eventual relocation of his beloved Nets to Brooklyn.
NoLandGrab disclaimer: the views and opinions expressed in the video clip posted below are those of the mash-up artist(s) alone, and do not necessarily reflect the views of NoLandGrab, its proprietors or its affiliates. We bring it to you in the interest of serving as a comprehensive source for all news and opinion relating to the planned Atlantic Yards project.
Rated R — Contains profanity and content that some may find objectionable.
Posted by eric at 5:32 PM
October 8, 2009
Maya Lin to Atlantic Yards
Restless
Restless is always good for some unexpected architectural solution.
Seeing Maya Lin's work, left, reminded me of my simplest design for the proposed Atlantic Yards Nets Arena.
I don't care if the Nets new Russian owner is ready to spend like Bloomberg going after a fifth term, the Yards site is architecturally cursed.
This design is guaranteed to invalidate all complaints about crappy architecture and how the arena might fit into the surrounding environment -- by burying the whole thing beneath a gigantic mound covered in grass, in a style the ancients referred to as "green architecture," below right.
Fans won't care that they're buried alive. They'll be too busy watching the massive plasma TV screen hung above the court, with closeups of LeBron James diving into the laps of Siberian supermodels in court-side seats, wrapped in wolf pelts, nibbling caviar bagels, and pouring Stoli down their gullets like gas into a Hummer.
To pay off the bonds needed to complete the project, the mound can be covered with billboards, like any other arena. Then the BQE can be re-routed by the mound so there's an audience for the billboards. That swell, sustainable future is rendered below.
Posted by eric at 6:13 PM
October 4, 2009
Sunday Comix: Atlantic Yards Turkey
Develop Don't Destroy Brooklyn
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Posted by steve at 8:08 AM
September 22, 2009
A Stitch in Time: Post ESDC Meeting Ratner Releases Another (FIFTH!) New Set of Arena Plans
Noticing New York
Michael D.D. White, tongue firmly in cheek, imagines a future re-design of the "Barclays Center" arena.
What a difference just a matter of days can make! Just days after Forest City Ratner released renderings of the fourth version of its proposed Atlantic Yards arena, it has now released its fifth set of drawings of what the arena will look like. It is startlingly like the third version, the Ellerbe Becket “airplane hangar” design. The fifth version replaces the SHoP drawings and model that were masterfully furnished just days after conclusion of the public comment period and days before the Empire State Development Corporation’s meeting last Thursday where ESDC’s board granted Ratner permission to proceed with the arena plus a thirty-year monopoly on the adjoining acreage Ratner wants for whatever he eventually wants to do regarding the rest of the megadevelopment.
Posted by eric at 11:40 AM
September 20, 2009
Sunday Comix: A Peek At The Atlantic Yards Design Process
The Brooklyn Paper
Posted by steve at 11:30 AM
September 12, 2009
DDDB Gone Wild!
Travel Channel
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Not quite. Actually, it's Man v. Food host (and Brooklynite) Adam Richman, representin' on Waikiki beach in a short segment about what to do when in Honolulu.
Click here to watch.
Posted by eric at 10:57 AM
August 14, 2009
GORGEOUS APARTMENT NEAR ALL- NO FEE (Prospect Heights)
New York Gay Pride
Bergen Street, Brooklyn, NY
GORGEOUS NEW APARTMENT NEAR ALL
Very sunny two bedroom apartment only two years young. Hardwood floors, new appliances, Close to Atlantic Yards, Brooklyn Museum, Brooklyn Botanical Gardens, Medgar Evers College and Pratt Institute 2, 3,4, 5, A and C and Shuttle trains close by.
NoLandGrab: "Close to Atlantic Yards?" Even Atlantic Yards isn't close to Atlantic Yards — until Ratner actually begins building something, "Atlantic Yards" is just a "marketing concept."
Posted by eric at 4:26 PM
July 26, 2009
The Wonders of Brooklyn - The Land Grab Mahal
Do you wonder what Atlantic Yards will look like according to the latest designs? Keep wondering! The Empire State Development Corporation, the tool of developer Bruce Ratner, says there will be no renderings of the project available during the period for public comment on the modified General Project Plan for Atlantic Yards.
For now, wonderers can imagine this design based on the Wonders of the World:
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Posted by steve at 11:05 AM
July 25, 2009
Wonders of Brooklyn - Zeus at Flatbush
Do you wonder what Atlantic Yards will look like according to the latest designs? Keep wondering! The Empire State Development Corporation, the tool of developer Bruce Ratner, says there will be no renderings of the project available during the period for public comment on the modified General Project Plan for Atlantic Yards.
For now, wonderers can imagine this design based on the Wonders of the World:
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Posted by steve at 10:01 AM
July 24, 2009
Wonders of Brooklyn - The Pyramid Scheme
Do you wonder what Atlantic Yards will look like according to the latest designs? Keep wondering!
The Empire State Development Corporation, the tool of developer Bruce Ratner, says there will be no renderings of the project available during the period for public comment on the modified General Project Plan for Atlantic Yards.
For now, wonderers can imagine this design based on the Wonders of the World:
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Posted by steve at 9:05 PM
July 5, 2009
One wrench in Ratner’s plans
The Brooklyn Paper
By Cristian Fleming
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Posted by steve at 12:00 PM
The "Ratner Unit" and the"Brooklyn Nets of New Jersey"
Atlantic Yards Report
The need for developer Bruce Ratner to create confusion around the facts of the proposed Atlantic Yards project has produced two new ideas.
The first example, left as a comment on the Atlantic Yards report, refers to the constantly changing completions dates announced by blighter Bruce Ratner and his tool, the Empire State Development Corporation. In 2003, the proposed Barclays arena was scheduled to open in 2006; in 2006, it was to open in 2009; in 2009 the opening date is to be in 2012. This brings us to the "Ratner Unit".
Ratner Unit - the length of time from today (always equal to 3 years) that the AY arena will open.
The other concept, via a comment from the Nets Daily blog is to try to capitalize on the uncertain future of the New Jersey Nets by changing their name to the Brooklyn Nets of New Jersey:
The Nets should use some sneaky tricks to get Lebron to sign here. Like the Angels of MLB, the Nets should change their name to Brooklyn Nets of New Jersey. Problem solved.
NoLandGrab: It's been said that the best way to kill a joke is to explain it. Here's hoping that NoLandGrab has not committed murder.
Posted by steve at 7:33 AM
June 24, 2009
BLOOMBERG-OPOLY! NOW YOU CAN PLAY!
Lost City, Play Bloomberg-opoly! (We're All Forced To, Anyway, Right?)
The Angry New Yorker blog has come up with perfect board game for our time. It's frustrating! It's hilarious! It's all true! It's Bloomberg-opoly!!!
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Community Chest is now the City Council Slush Fund. Chance is now "Rezone?" The green squares are a series of failed developments: Coney Island, West Side Yard and Atlantic Yards. Only developers are allowed to land on the yellow space labeled "eminent domain.
[Click on image for full board.]
Posted by lumi at 5:49 AM
June 21, 2009
Bait and Switch - Cooking With The ESDC
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"Lago compared the project’s current budgeting for the project’s centerpiece arena ... to a wish list one makes when planning the renovation of a 45-year-old kitchen. Suddenly faced with the sobering realization that the wish list is too expensive, Lago says of the centerpiece stove, the planned 'six- burner stove becomes a four-burner.'" -- GlobeSt.com
Posted by steve at 6:21 PM
June 7, 2009
Atlantic Yards Team Fade-Out
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| From left to right: James Stuckey, Frank Gehry, Laurie Olin. |
Posted by steve at 1:19 PM
May 31, 2009
An Intrepid Time Traveler Finds Morlocks and Their Master in 21st Century Brooklyn
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Image originally posted by Karl the Druid on a Brooklynian message board.
NoLandGrab: If you want to geek out NLG style, check out "The Time Machine" directed by George Pal.
Posted by steve at 8:10 PM
May 6, 2009
Damn you, lousy land grabber...
Rocky Sullivan's Pub Quizmaster Scott Turner just came up with an Atlantic Yards remix of the sidesplitting "Actual English Subtitles Used in Films Made in Hong Kong" (click on graphic to enlarge).
Turner explains:
Looking this over for the four-thousandth time, I got to thinking. What if these were subtitles from the battle to stop the Atlantic Yards project. The lines wouldn't be that different if they were uttered by Bruce Ratner himself.
- I am damn unsatisfied to be stopped by the community in this way.
- Marty, you with your thick face have hurt my instep.
- Self-inflicted cash wounds again?
- Same old rules: no democracy, no community voice
- A normal person wouldn't steal $1.5 billion in public money
- Damn, I'll burn your neighborhood into a Chuck E. Cheese.
- Take my advice, or I'll spank you without pants. (Some of these can't be improved upon...)
- Who gave you the nerve to voice your opinions here?
- Quiet or I'll blow your Wards Bakery up.
- You always use free speech. I should've ordered more community benefits.
- I'll fire aimlessly if you don't sell your home to me.
- You daring lousy Brooklyn.
- Beat his streets out of recognizable shape!
- I have been scared shitless too much lately! (Again, apt as is.)
- I've bought political buddies more than the number of your leg's hair!
- Beware! Your communities are going to be disconnected.
- The amoralities inside are very hot. Why do I feel so cold?
- How can you use my donations as a gift?
- This will be of fine service for you, you bag of the scum. I am sure you will not mind that I remove your manhoods and leave them out on the dessert flour for your aunts to eat. (Said to the city's unions and Ratner's own allies.)
- Yah-hah, Bertha Lewis! I have captured you by the short acorns and can now deliver you to your constituents for a thorough examination.
- Greetings, large basketball fanbase. Let us not forget to form a team up together and go into Brooklyn to inflict the pain of our Dodger nostalgia feets on some ass of the giant angry residents who want schools and transit instead of a sports arena.
Like folk songs, dates that live up to the hype, and a really satisfying plate of pancakes, good lines can change languages and change with the times, but they never stop bein' good. Even if they're very, very bad.
Posted by lumi at 6:16 AM
April 19, 2009
Sunday Comix
Noticing New York
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Posted by steve at 8:05 AM
April 10, 2009
A Very Brooklyn Passover Haggadah
In honor of Passover, we dust off this gem for "an Atlantic Yardseder."
Through the ages, the Jewish ceremony of Passover has been adapted to all sorts of social and economic situations. This year, the Children of Brooklyn celebrate their hope for a miraculous deliverance from real estate developer bondage with the songs and prayers below.
Click here for The Four Questions (About Bruce Ratner's Atlantic Yards Project), and more!
Posted by eric at 12:17 AM
April 1, 2009
City Hall’s Call: Why Forest City Ratner’s Gehry Beekman Tower Will Only Be 50% of Originally Planned Height- It’s Structural
Noticing New York
It took a blogger with a background in law, urban planning, Proust and the public sector to scoop the mainstream media and track down the real reason Forest City Ratner is considering topping out the Beekman Tower, designed by Frank Gehry, at a mere 38 stories:
Nobody knew what to think when the news went out on that the Frank Gehry-designed Forest City Ratner Beekman Tower now under construction might cease construction at about half its originally planned height.
We speculated:
It is amusing to toy with the idea that the building might have been stopped by the mayor himself when he realized how the immensity of the building in his own City Hall backyard might stand as a symbol to influence the debate over his administration’s sell-off of the public realm.
...
Mentioning the “value engineering” of a Gehry project got us off and thinking about the problems with leaks the building might have (Monday, March 30, 2009, Gehry Leaks) and that the cessation of construction might even have something to do late-found flaws in this regard.Well, it turns out that we were partly right in our first speculation and partly right in our last speculation. The answer combines both. The halt to construction was called for by City Hall itself because of structural problems. Not structural problems directly in the Beekman, but structural problems caused by the Beekman in a neighboring property. The surprise is that the neighboring property is City Hall itself which is just a block away from the Beekman with pretty much the distance of City Hall Park between them.
Click here to read how engineers may have failed to consult the "site interrelationship exchange tables," causing a blow-back structural defect originally caused by the engineering work that went into the Brooklyn Bridge.
NoLandGrab: All proof Ratner is losing faith of one longtime supporter.
Posted by lumi at 5:43 AM
More lawsuits hit Railyards project
San Fransisco Business Times
It may be April foolish, but it's no joke. Readers who have been following the Atlantic Yards saga during the past few years should check out this article about lawsuits questioning the environmental review that are being filed against "The Railyards" project in Downtown Sacramento, where the city is poised to begin eminent domain proceedings.
"We can not and will not support the current plan," said Catharine Dickey, Executive Vice President with Westfield LLC, in a written statement. She called The Railyards plan "a front-loaded retail development scheme that resulted from a flawed, inadequate process." The company alleges that numerous traffic and other impacts weren't analyzed and that reports were based on an incorrect and misleading project description.
"Its own technical study says (it) will negatively impact Sacramento's downtown core by causing economic instability and urban decay," she said.
An attorney who has represented labor unions in the past also has challenged the city's approval of The Railyards. The plaintiffs in that case are three Sacramento residents calling themselves Sacramento Citizens Concerned about The Railyards (SCCARY).
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They also allege several deficiencies in the approval process.
Posted by lumi at 4:14 AM
March 29, 2009
Lupica says Ratner's flacks are orchestrating emails
Atlantic Yards Report
From Mike Lupica in today's New York Daily News:
Here's a heads-up for Bruce Ratner's flacks: When you put Brooklyn people up to sending me e-mails, I print them up and then make them into paper airplanes.
NoLandGrab: Does it seem like they might be running out of good ideas over at Metrotech?
Posted by eric at 10:38 AM
January 30, 2009
Yet More Visions for the Endlessly Pared-Down Atlantic Yards
Curbed.com
Here's a preview of two visions of a stripped-down version of Bruce Ratner's Atlantic Yards plan.
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There's still time to get in your own 'shopped image. The deadline for submissions to Curbed.com is today (link).
Posted by lumi at 5:28 AM
January 21, 2009
'The Simpsons' takes swipe at Ratner, Atlantic Yards
NY Daily News I-Team Blog
by Michael O'Keeffe
OK, the Daily Snooze is about a month behind NoLandGrab in catching on to this Simpsons episode, but they do have a bit more reach than we do, and we're happy to give props to Michael O'Keeffe, who's always seen Atlantic Yards for what it really is, as evinced by this line:
The Atlantic Yards controversy has had one upside: It inspired a terrific episode of “The Simpsons.”
Posted by eric at 9:50 PM
January 16, 2009
My Good Taste
Restless
In light of these developments I've scaled back my earlier vision of the Yards, left, and will go with the vision above. Yes, it's a parking lot -- in the rural, hill country style, where the attendant stays mildly drunk all day as he watches reruns of The Dukes of Hazzard with the pack of dogs he shares the lot "office" with.
NoLandGrab: We like this redesign, though it appears to be lacking the "brownstone feel" favored by the Borough President.
Posted by eric at 1:05 PM
January 15, 2009
Markowitz's SkyStoop
Develop Don't Destroy Brooklyn
Inspired by Brooklyn Borough President Marty Markowitz's suggestion to the Daily News that perhaps Forest City Ratner could incorporate "Brooklyn-style stoops at the base of some of the towers" for more of a "brownstone feel," DDDB has offered up a "value-engineered" rendering.
NoLandGrab: We know a stoopid idea when we see one.
Posted by eric at 2:02 PM
January 11, 2009
Sunday Comix
After this week, maybe Bruce can get that t-shirt Frank sent him back out...
Posted by amy at 10:53 AM
January 9, 2009
Complaint Dept.
Mark Lamster
The author and blogger cites Atlantic Yards in a world-record-setting bout of complaining.
The complaint has always been my great metier, the form in which I am a non-pareil master. Last night I became an honest-to-goodness world record holder in my favored idiom. At the behest of my friends with the Universal Record Database, I set the new standard for Most Complaints In 60 Seconds, a feat documented by numerous officials, and witnessed by New York’s daily digest of record. A video of the proceedings will soon be available, but I thought I’d provide a transcript, for your reading pleasure.
I’m tired. I’m hungry. My feet are cold. I’m damp. It’s too dark outside. It’s too dark in here. I left my hat at prêt a manger. I don’t have enough Facebook friends. My eyesight blows. A 5-year contract for AJ Burnett? I’m not rich enough. I’m not smart enough. I’m not good looking enough. I don’t have enough work. I have too much work. It’s all underpaid. My book is overdue. My book is not good. Specifically, the footnotes are a disaster. I can’t figure out HTML. I’m a shitty typist. I hate fish. I hate broccoli. I have tempomandibular disorder. I hate it when I burn the roof of my mouth on hot tea. Who drinks tea anyway? Tea is for grandmas and pussies. I hate the gym. I hate the stairmaster at the gym. I hate the guy at the gym who runs on the stairmaster like a gerbil on a habitrail. Our culture sucks. I’m going to miss Top Chef tonight. This is a waste of time. What the fuck am I doing here? Isiah Thomas. Daniel Libeskind is a hack. The plans for Ground Zero suck. Atlantic Yards sucks....
Posted by eric at 10:24 PM
December 25, 2008
A Lump of Coal From Forest City Ratner
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Posted by steve at 12:00 PM
December 22, 2008
Jay it ain't so
Develop Don't Destroy Brooklyn
Inspired by a recent Daily News column, and by Jay-Z himself, DDDB lays down its own Atlantic Yards-inspired rhymes.
Hova owning less than point oh one/
But always out in front having all the fun/
Don't count your chickens before they hatch/
BR's boondoggle gonna fail? Whaddya think...'natch!
Posted by eric at 10:03 AM
December 16, 2008
Ratner Death Star
[Cue lower brass and timpani]
Dum, dum, dum, dum-da-dum-da, dum-da-dum...
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You gotta love the title of this photo of the airlock between Bruce Ratner's Atlantic Terminal and Atlantic Center malls, dropped into the flickr Atlantic Yards Photo Pool by "PHootprint."
Posted by lumi at 6:00 AM
December 14, 2008
Sunday Comix: Brooklyn Paper Weekly 12.13.08
Christian Fleming
5 years after its inception Atlantic Yards remains nothing more than a figment of Bruce Ratner’s grandiose imagination, a hole in the ground and a bunch of partially demolished buildings where a once great neighborhood stood.
Posted by amy at 10:47 AM
December 7, 2008
Sunday Comix: Photos of Prospect Heights Edition
Brooklynian
When a commenter asked for photos of Prospect Heights for a school project, this is what the community returned:
i found thesebut i think one of them is a fake
Karl the Druid adds:
while dinosaurs have never roamed freely along eastern parkwaybruce ratner does own a pteradon named marty
that reaps disaster on prospect height at the clap of a hand
Posted by amy at 8:56 AM
November 23, 2008
Sunday Comix - Red Sea Edition
Posted by amy at 11:25 AM
November 2, 2008
Gersh in action
Gilly Youner via Flickr
Miss Brooklyn makes a special appearance as the MC for the Costume Contest Best in Show kids. Appropriate for Halloween as she is now a specter...
Posted by amy at 9:45 AM
October 8, 2008
Fresh Air at Atlantic Yards
Either someone is trying to clear the air over Atlantic Yards, or these trees are replacements for the ones just chopped down by Bruce Ratner.
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Photo by Steve.
Posted by lumi at 6:43 AM
September 11, 2008
HOW I LEARNED TO STOP WORRYING AND LOVE ATLANTIC YARDS
Posted by lumi at 5:40 AM
September 3, 2008
Who needs "Peace, Land and Bread," when you got "Jobs, Housing and Hoops!"
Though Forest City Ratner's Russian-language liar-flier was printed in green, it sounds red.
According to NoLandGrab's in-house Russian analyst, the flier should be a hit because people from Russia are unfamiliar with overblown promises of jobs, government-subsidized housing and sports that promote the greater glory of the people.
Yes, "Everything is better in Brooklyn" and um... LET LIVE FOREVER IN THE PEOPLE'S MEMORY THE NAME AND WORK OF BRUCE RATNER!
Posted by lumi at 6:41 AM
August 28, 2008
Brooklyn Raccoons Approach Atlantic Yards Territory
Gowanus Lounge
The latest Brooklyn raccoon sighting report (yes, we realize, there are a great many) is of interest because it comes from the Pacific Bears Garden, which and located at Pacific and Flatbush Avenue and would be a neighbor of the Atlantic Yards arena.
NoLandGrab: Unlike certain developers and politicians, this little Atlantic Yards bandit was kind enough to identify himself by wearing a mask.
Posted by eric at 10:36 AM
August 14, 2008
Ratneritor
Ask your doctor ...
Posted by lumi at 4:55 AM
August 10, 2008
What They’re Thinking
The Footprint Gazette
I am still here in Mexico. Still enjoying the relative tranquility, when I got this insight posted on one of the videos I have made:sg1920 wrote:
My brother is a head foreman on the Nets stadium project, so its gonna be funny when he knocks down your apt. and is bangin chicks from the Big Pimpin' video with Jay-Z and Lebron James and slamming Krystal with massive amounts of cocaine spanning both three point arcshahhahahaha
And here I thought that the reward for the people involved in this project was strictly monetary, or in the case of Markowitz, to fulfill the hole left in his heart when the Dodgers skipped town. But as it turns out, the people in charge of this project also get joy from knocking down homes, partaking in orgies with video chicks (from 8 years ago), rappers and basketball stars, slamming rather than sipping Krystal champagne, which I can only assume is some sort of bathtub version of Cristal champagne, and doing massive amounts of coke.
Posted by amy at 10:38 AM
Sunday Comix - Atlantic Yards' Moving Goalposts
The Brooklyn Paper - Cristian Fleming
Posted by amy at 10:35 AM
July 8, 2008
You know you live in The Footprint when...
The Footprint Gazette
-Your toilet fills with dirt and then stops working right before a holiday weekend when no plumbers are available.
-A hairline crack appears from floor to ceiling in the center of your apartment.
-Your computer hard drive dies at the end of a long day of dust and vibration from construction. (ok maybe that one is just a coincidence. Then again, maybe it ain't)
-The green wall in front of your apartment keeps getting longer
-Taxis have to drop you off a block away, because you aren't agile enough to scale said wall.
-You messed up your good pants learning that you aren't agile enough to scale said wall.
NoLandGrab: You know you live in The Footprint when you live in the City, but yer singin' country.
Posted by lumi at 4:01 AM
June 27, 2008
Ratner's Relocation Plan Revealed!
The Footprint Gazette
After years of empty promises, are workers finally preparing the rent-stabilized holding pen for footprint tenants???
One of the multitudinous reasons that Bruce Ratner's Atlantic Yards Project has lost it's momentum is that the tenants currently living in the proposed construction site have not been offered any clear options for what's to be done with them. There was vague talk of a relocation plan, but that plan never had any kind of details associated with it.
Well the details have finally surfaced and I was lucky to get a shot of where the tenants are to be relocated.
Posted by lumi at 4:36 AM
June 22, 2008
Local: A Brilliant Political Speech, Remixed Into Instant Classic
Daily Kos
We all love local politics. Well here in Brooklyn we are fortunate to have a skilled, principled City Councilwoman named Letitia James representing us.A local blog, The Footprint Gazette has taken a recent speech she gave at a rally against developer Bruce Ratner's Atlantic Yards proposal, and remixed it into an instant classic. It's well worth the listen.
Keep an eye on Tish, as she is called, she has a great career ahead of her.
Posted by amy at 10:50 AM
June 13, 2008
Mr. Markowitz Tear Down This Wall
The Footprint Gazette
A brief history of walls and a historical hysterical speech that left us... well, speechless.
Posted by lumi at 4:32 AM
June 12, 2008
Brooklyn Paper weekly - 6.7.08
Cristian Fleming Weblog
Satirist/Cartoonist Cristian Fleming offers "Brooklyn Day" congratulations to Bruce Ratner.
This might be brilliant if it weren’t so stupid. Let me see if I can summarize. Nobody really wants Atlantic Yards in it’s currently offered state. Bruce Ratner has really fucked this up good and hard, and its a miracle that he has because he has begged, bribed and stolen his way into such a plum deal. So Atlantic Yards sucks, yea? Ratner decided to have a “rally” in support of it. He cuts a deal to get construction workers (yes, the same construction workers that would, of course, be hired to build the Yards development) busy working on other buildings in the area a few hours off, coincidentally right when the “rally” is happening. Throw in some subtle encouragement by union and current site bosses to attend, and some additional bussed in attendees, and you have this sham rally. Of course, if I were looking at a chance to support a future paycheck I could use to support my family in a shitty economy how dumb would I be to not go? You would think that Ratner & Co. might make even the slightest attempt to make this actually look like less of the cynical ploy it really is. Congratulations Bruce, you’re an ass.
Posted by eric at 3:16 PM
June 8, 2008
All drawn out
The Brooklyn Paper
Posted by amy at 5:05 PM
June 1, 2008
Sunday Comix Part Deux
Brought to you by Forest City Ratner and Frank Gehry. (via Curbed)
Posted by amy at 8:38 AM
May 23, 2008
The Closer: Celebrating the year of men - in design
NY Daily News
Is is possible that someone really thinks they already live in Atlantic Yards?
To celebrate the opening day of the 20th annual International Contemporary Furniture Fair, one of the three biggest furniture shows on Earth, the world's top designers and architects mingled with guests among works of art that included nudes, orange industrial squares and small pools of water on different levels of a slate terrace.
...
Designer of the year Todd Bracher talked about American design making a comeback."Everyone says American design is dead," says Bracher, who recently returned from a teaching stint in France to open a studio in Brooklyn's Atlantic Yards. "I was born in Flatlands, Brooklyn. America is alive and kicking."
Folks, this is Atlantic Yards and this is what it looks like now.
If anyone can find Bracher in Atlantic Yards, that would be a story.
Posted by lumi at 5:13 AM
April 29, 2008
Secret, True Identity of Real Estate Developer Revealed!
Disco-era Bruce Ratner or celebrity imposter?
Posted by lumi at 7:01 PM
April 21, 2008
Lunch with Mike, Amanda and Patty
Lost City
SYNOPSIS: The Mayor does lunch by the pool at the Four Seasons with the Commishes of City Planning and Department of Buildings. Everything goes swimmingly until Atlantic Yards overdeveloper Bruce Ratner sends over a bottle of bubbly.
Click here for a laugh.
Posted by lumi at 8:30 PM
April 9, 2008
Bruce Ratner Versus Gowanus: They Did The Mash
Who Walk in Brooklyn
If the image of the Virgin Mary appeared in the oily film on the Gowanus Canal, might true-believers actually anoint themselves with holy water? What about when it's Slick Bruce Ratner?
Berenice (”The Abbott”)/BZA, Photo Editor reports: To the shock of many & delight of all, yesterday afternoon an anonymous reader sent in the near-genius collage at left. I was out surfing in Rockaway but when I got out of the water & was warm enough to check my messages at the library (shout out to the Peninsula branch of the QPL: what’s good, homies?), I agreed with The Publisher: it had to be an inside job. J’accuse?! Not me, boss, & without disparaging the myriad skills of our other editors & reporters, I strongly question whether anyone of them did it either. Can ya’ll imagine, say, an Ernie Koy Jr. or Zyczymy Smacznego sitting there & tweaking the “ripple” effect? I think not. But if– as it was signed– “Diogenes of South Brooklyn” ain’t us then… is it tu or is it vous?
Ce n'etait pas nous! Mais comme Bruce Ratner, ce canal crie "Clean Me!"
Posted by lumi at 4:44 AM
April 2, 2008
The New Gehry Residence in Los Angeles
Here's a really good item we missed yesterday about Atlantic Yards starchitect Frank Gehry's latest creative turn:
It is not often that an architecture master reinvents himself, but that is precisely what Pritzker Prize winning architect Frank Gehry has done. Gehry, who first won international recognition with his own residence, a masterpiece of post-modern architecture, has revealed what can only be described as the first post post-modern architectural work, the New Gehry Residence, completely confounding both his critics and promoters alike.
The New Gehry Residence is located in a nearby suburb of Los Angeles is the newest reinvention of Gehry’s signature architecture. The house, which seems to resemble your typical two story McMansion, has all the details that one would expect from his work. The odd shapes resting one on top of the other seem to look like a gable roof, but are in fact so complex, that it took NASA engineers, and builder and his crew, 6 months to make them work. “We couldn’t get them to work together” said one of NASA’s chief engineers. “When Frank asked us to have the larger shape be nested on top of the other two, we new that this was going to be challenge.”
But wait, there's more!
Posted by lumi at 4:20 AM
April 1, 2008
City Announces Huge April 1 Toll, Thor, Ratner Land Swap
Gowanus Lounge
Breaking news on a major city initiative intended to jump start several Brooklyn development projects.
Gowanus Lounge has learned that the city has engineered a huge land swap to simultaneously address major Gowanus, Atlantic Yards and Coney Island development issues. "Sometimes things don't work out the way we'd like and we all have to deal with it," Mayor Michael Bloomberg said in announcing what he called the Brooklyn Three Way. The Three Way was worked out by departed Deputy Mayor Dan Doctoroff, who brokered the arrangement as a volunteer working while on a business trip in Japan. The City Ethics Board okayed Mr. Doctoroff's shuttle diplomacy.
The broad outline of the arrangement is that Mr. Sitt, who is reviled in Coney Island, will replace Mr. Ratner, who is disliked in Prospect Heights, Park Slope and other surrounding neighborhoods. Mr. Ratner will, instead, develop Gowanus, freeing up the Toll Brothers, for whom there is little neighborhood love, to work in Coney Island, where they have no known opponents. Mr. Doctoroff acknowledged, however, that Mr. Ratner would have some remedial work to do on his image in Gowanus.
Posted by eric at 2:12 PM
Midtown Mews: A Garden of Eden Grows in Manhattan
Manhattanites feeling left out of the Brooklyn Overdevelopment Renaissance now have hope, with the recent announcement of Bruce Ratner's Midtown Mews — it's delirious!
Click on the hot link to view the site plan.
Posted by lumi at 6:53 AM
March 30, 2008
All drawn out
The Brooklyn Paper
Cristian Fleming
Posted by amy at 12:27 PM
March 23, 2008
Sheldon Silver's Silver Dollar Cash Machine
Brooklyn Vs Bush
He does nice things for the people who gives him money, and terrible things to the people who don't. And Spitzer only resigned over going to a prostitute. . . We don't know if this machine actually exists. We do know that Bruce Ratner gave nearly $60,000 to a sneaky account controlled by Silver, and Silver approved Ratner's massive land grab for the Atlantic Yards horror show: 17 huge, ugly skyscrapers funded with $2.2 Billion of our public money. Good to know Sheldon wouldn't do that to Brooklyn for free . . .
Posted by amy at 4:28 PM
Sunday Comix: Recession Stalls Atlantic Yards
Brooklynian, posted by Karl the Druid
Posted by amy at 4:20 PM
March 18, 2008
RATNERKAMI
Posted by lumi at 5:18 AM
March 5, 2008
The Language of Developers, and How to Understand It
Lost City now offers developer doublespeak translation services. Here are the first two to get you started:
Statement: "Our design is meant to respect the historical and architectural context of the neighborhood."
Translation: "This building is not as big and ugly as we'd like it to be."Statement: "We support the approval process."
Translation: "We promised City Hall we'd go through the motions."
Click here for the rest of the hysterical-but-true list.
NoLandGrab: Here's one for the Atlantic Yards opponents who have been hanging around for a few years...
Statement: "When I was young I wanted to be a priest."
Translation: "I am a creep."
Posted by lumi at 6:11 AM
HOT BIRD
Photo by Tracy Collins, via Atlantic Yards Photo Pool.
the HOT BIRD building, 540 Vanderbilt, would be demolished for Atlantic Yards.
Posted by lumi at 5:48 AM
March 2, 2008
Photoshop this newspaper editor and the Brooklyn borough president
Fark.com
(Caption: "Borough President Markowitz accepts an extremely generous check from Brooklyn Paper Editor Gersh Kuntzman, whose ankle cast auction raised $500 for Markowitz’s Camp Brooklyn charity.")
NoLandGrab: Two of our favorite entries below: (And let's hope Miss Brooklyn doesn't come looking for those...)
Posted by amy at 12:14 PM
February 9, 2008
Atlantic Yards Dung Deal
brooklynvsbush brings you a Valentine's Day love song for Bruce Ratner. Or maybe something the opposite of that.
They say Atlantic Yards is a deal that is done...
It's to be made of glass and steel...
But it's really built from dung.
Posted by amy at 10:14 AM
February 2, 2008
Classic Brooklyn Writer Recipe
Brooklyn Daily Eagle
Brad Lockwood tells you the steps you need to take to become both a Brooklynite and a writer:
Once famous, find a cause: Walt Whitman saved Fort Greene Park from developers.-Jonathan Lethem and others are trying to do the same for the neighborhoods surrounding Atlantic Yards.
Find another cause, however provocative. Joseph McCarthy had a thing for “Red-loving” Brooklyn writers, including Arthur Miller, Richard Wright, John Dos Passos and W.E.B. du Bois.
-Bruce Ratner can relate. But where’s the Coney Island Concerned Writers Group or Keep Gowanus Canal Stinking Scribe Committee?
Posted by amy at 1:44 PM
January 20, 2008
Bugs Bunny - Homeless Hare
"Hey you big gorilla, didn't you ever hear of the sanctity of the American home?!"
Posted by amy at 12:00 PM
Brooklyn Paper weekly - 1.19.08
The Brooklyn Paper
bla bla bla bruce ratner uses the courts to steamroll any opposition in his path bla bla. thats progress.
Posted by amy at 11:21 AM
January 6, 2008
Predictions from sublime (Kevin Garnett) to ridiculous (Isiah Thomas)
NY Daily News
Mitch Lawrence
Bruce Ratner finally puts a gold-plated shovel in the Brooklyn soil.But when he digs down, the Nets owner strikes oil - who knew? - and decides right then and there to bag his arena/development project.
The fallout: Ratner decides to keep the Nets at the Meadowlands until his new proposed arena site is built in 2018 on Staten Island.
Posted by amy at 11:19 AM
All drawn out
The Brooklyn Paper
Cristian Fleming
Posted by amy at 10:59 AM
December 25, 2007
358 days since Spitzer Claus came to town!
 |
Posted by lumi at 10:52 AM
December 10, 2007
Scrooge!
Bruce, you've been Scrooged.
[Someone in HR might want to slip this into Bruce Ratner's personnel file, just for funzies.]
This is the sequel to "Elf You (and Your Little Doggie Too!)."
Posted by lumi at 5:20 AM
December 9, 2007
The Twelve Days of Christmas - DAY TEN
Six Meat Buffet
You may remember playing classic Monopoly as a youngster. Sure the games took forever, but remember the fun you had buying property, setting up houses and hotels? Remember the pride you took in actually owning property and protecting that property from interlopers?Well, in the new Monopoly Eminent Domain Edition, you can take as much pride in your property as you want, but remember - in today’s version, that property is temporary. Thanks to SCOTUS’ Kelo decision, this new game version reflects the new American reality that, as long as a developer wants your land and government wants more tax revenue, your property can taken on a whim, and there’s not a damn thing you can do about it!
link
NoLandGrab: Click on the link for more land grab fun!
Posted by amy at 10:18 AM
November 23, 2007
Elf You!
While politicians are eagerly awaiting the appearance of Ratner Clause, the elves are merrily going about their business! [linky]
Posted by lumi at 5:30 AM
November 4, 2007
All Drawn Out
By Cristian Fleming
for The Brooklyn Paper
Posted by amy at 9:29 AM
November 2, 2007
A UFO Lands in a Clinton Hill Graveyard
The NY Sun
The Halloween hangover has probably already been replaced by the fear that there are only 53 more shopping days 'til Christmas, but we thought that NoLandGrab readers would probably want to know that this photo of the Clinton Hill graveyard, where some guy named Ratner is buried, appeared in yesterday's Sun.
GRAVESTONE C0MMENTARY A Halloween-inspired UFO in a graveyard of comic tombstones poking fun at local politics and pop culture on Clinton Avenue between DeKalb and Lafayette avenues in the Clinton Hill section of Brooklyn.
Posted by lumi at 6:17 AM
October 7, 2007
Death throes for arena foes
NY Daily News
Errol Louis gives such an error filled diatribe today, we're glad Norman Oder was up early this morning to deconstruct it:
Atlantic Yards Report: Deconstructing 'Death throes for arena foes'
In his Daily News column today, headlined Death throes for arena foes, Errol Louis repeats many of his past arguments against the Atlantic Yards eminent domain suit.I've responded to most of them already.
He's also ignoring the existence of other lawsuits, including the challenge to the project environmental review, as well as a challenge to the state's relocation offer. And, personalizing the issue, he calls Develop Don't Destroy Brooklyn "Daniel Goldstein's anti-project group," ignoring the many volunteers and supporters.
Smoking gun?
He additionally points out that there's no smoking gun that shows government officials illicitly green-lighting the project. The plaintiffs are asking for discovery, based on a sequence they call illegitmate--an angle of the lawsuit Louis won't address.
Posted by amy at 9:57 AM
October 6, 2007
Debriefer: Comic Max Silvestri
Gridskipper
We're going to imprison you in the city of your choice for the rest of your natural life. You can do anything you want there, but you must stay in that city forever. Where would you choose?
I will probably come off like a toolbox for saying it, but Brooklyn. It is a huge and amazing city with a lifetime's worth of places at which to drink, eat, and also drink. Also, thanks for specifying that I will only be forced to remain in the city for the rest of my natural life. It is good to know that if I die and science finds a way to put my brain in a robot body, I will be free to leave this hypothetical prison-borough. I imagine the Atlantic Yards to be the center of this terrifying panopticon.
article
NoLandGrab posters realize our readers are much smarter than us, but just in case the other NoLandGrabbers are reading this...
pan-op-ti-con-noun
a building, as a prison, hospital, library, or the like, so arranged that all parts of the interior are visible from a single point.
Posted by amy at 11:11 AM
September 29, 2007
All drawn out, The Brooklyn Paper
The Real Deal: Two more tenants give way at Atlantic Yards site
Two tenants in the footprint of Forest City Ratner's Atlantic Yards project have decided to settle with the developer out of court, dropping lawsuits asking compensation for their removal by eminent domain. Four other tenants represented by the same lawyer, Jennifer Levy, are in settlement talks with Ratner. The legal battles have significantly delayed the project, with the first phase's completion slated for 2010.
The Real Estate : Atlantic Yards Case Loses Two Plaintiffs
Posted by amy at 9:52 AM
September 14, 2007
Nacirema na eb ot duorp!
Just between us anthropologists, Bruce Ratner's Atlantic Yards has now, officially, delivered us into America's alternate reality.
Posted by lumi at 7:19 PM
September 2, 2007
Sunday Comix from The Brooklyn Paper
Posted by steve at 8:46 AM
July 24, 2007
Transfiguration 101
flickr, gilly youner's photos
For you Potter fans out there, guess who was spotted by a local wizard at this weekend's Book Party in Soho.
Caption:
David "Lucius" Yassky: apparently escaping from the clutches of Lord Ratnemort, (He Who Should Not Be Paid).
NoLandGrab: There was no sign of "You know who-ner," but that doesn't mean that his spies weren't busy trying to save Christmas for Ratner Clause.
Posted by lumi at 7:38 AM
July 15, 2007
Sunday Comix - Masters of their Domain
Posted by amy at 11:59 AM
July 11, 2007
CAUTION: Ratlantic Yards!
From somewhere deep within the Ratlantic Yards footprint (click to enlarge):
Posted by lumi at 9:17 AM
July 8, 2007
Sunday Comix
Posted by amy at 11:05 AM
July 1, 2007
Sunday Comix from The Brooklyn Paper
Posted by amy at 11:06 AM
Sunday Comix - 421-A Christmas in July Edition: The Ratner Clause
Posted by amy at 11:02 AM
June 24, 2007
Sunday Comix
Posted by steve at 8:27 AM
June 17, 2007
Sunday Comix
Posted by amy at 10:02 AM
June 16, 2007
'Contemporary Architecture With Gary Gehry'
Curbed.com
No comment.
Posted by amy at 10:02 AM
June 10, 2007
Sunday Comix
Posted by amy at 11:24 AM
June 3, 2007
Sunday Comix
Posted by amy at 11:01 AM
May 27, 2007
Sunday Comix
Posted by amy at 10:08 AM
May 22, 2007
"This just in"
NY Post
Here's a "scoop" we missed towards the end of Peter Vecsey's column:
This just in: Column contributor Mike Lione reports the Nets plan to lure New York residents next season by offering them a special season ticket package . . . Buy None, Get Two Free Until We Get To Brooklyn.
Posted by lumi at 8:47 PM
May 20, 2007
Sunday Comix
Posted by amy at 7:32 AM
May 13, 2007
Sunday Comix
Posted by amy at 11:28 AM
May 12, 2007
Sunday Comix - Saturday Edition
According to Forest City Ratner, Jim Stuckey "is an accomplished musician, capable of playing ten instruments."
Posted by amy at 10:55 AM
May 5, 2007
Shrill of the Week: Ratner on the Record
Dope on the Slope
Includes:
- Your Money (That's What I Want)
- Spinning Wheel
- I'm A Steamroller, Baby
- When The Walls Come Tumblin' Down
- On The Shady Side of the Street
- Cheesecake Merengue (for Marty)
- Ballad of Frankie & Frankie
- Good Golly Miss Brooklyn
- Down in the Boondoggles
- Goldsteinfinger
- (I Hate) Everyday People
- The Wreck of the Cleveland SteamerAnd many, many more.
Only $2 Billion in subsidies!
Act now! Supplies are limited.
Posted by amy at 9:49 AM
April 28, 2007
Overheard on Bergen and Flatbush
Two guys talking about the signage on a new store:
"'Arena Bagels and Bialys' - they should have made the words 'Bagels' and 'Bialys' bigger. No around here cares about an Arena."
Posted by amy at 2:15 PM
Shrill Of The Week: More Atlantic Yards Doggerel
There couldn't be a better way to start off the weekend than by reading Dope on the Slope's coverage of the Ward Bakery collapse:
Brucey-Wucey: Ballad Of A Bad Egg
Brucey-wucey knocked down a wall,
Brucey-wucey caused it to fall.
All of his cronies, and
All of his flaks
Couldn't persuade Brooklynites to relax.Limerick Memorializing The Great Ward's Bakery Calamity
There once was a fellow named Bruce,
Whose crew knocked a ton of bricks loose.
They fell to the ground
With a horrible sound.
There's a reason, but there's no excuse.
Posted by amy at 10:51 AM
April 24, 2007
MerriamWebster.com: Word of the Day
April 24, 2007
mythomania
\mith-uh-MAY-nee-uh\ noun
: an excessive or abnormal propensity for lying and exaggerating
Example Sentence:
The therapist speculated that Bruce's mythomania, which makes him want to embellish even the most minor benefits of Atlantic Yards, may have been triggered by an obsession with eminent domain.
Posted by lumi at 1:03 PM
April 11, 2007
Atlantic Yards Deathtrap!
When the joke is on Brooklyn, what's left to do but celebrate the ATLANTIC YARDS DEATHTRAP:
"With a building this UGLY and DEADLY, NO TERRORIST will be able to MISS BROOKLYN when PLANNING the ULTIMATE TERROR ATTACK!!"
The ATLANTIC YARDS DEATHTRAP comes complete with MILLIONS OF GLASS SHARDS!!!
Just ADD PUBLIC MONEY & WATCH IT GROW!!!!! [Assembly required.]
Posted by lumi at 7:04 AM
April 5, 2007
How Is a Park Slope Seder Different From All Other Seders?
Daily Intelligencer
For the second year, Rose Water in Park Slope held a seder with Leather Tomato's remix of the "Four Questions."
As printed in the handout Haggadah:
• Why is the Atlantic Yards project different from all other real-estate development projects?
• Why is it that this entire section of Brooklyn consists of unleavened low-rise buildings, but at Atlantic Yards Bruce Ratner wants to build seventeen high-rise buildings?
• Why is it that in all other projects the community would be happy for a real-estate developer to bring them "jobs, housing and hoops," but in this project some members of the community are bitter?
• Why is it that in all other projects the buildings stand straight, but in Frank Gehry's designs for the Atlantic Yards project, the buildings recline to one side? — to be read by the youngest real-estate developer at the Seder with the shortest hair.
Gawker, When Ratner was in Brooklyn Land...
"Insanity," another environmental impact of Bruce Ratner's Atlantic Yards plan:
We know this has been around a bit already, but we couldn't resist noting the anti-Bruce Ratner Passover Haggadah ("for an Atlantic Yardseder") that's been circulating for the last few days. Because, hey, if this doesn't say, "Oh no, we're totally not a bunch of barely sane kvetchers," we don't know what does.
Posted by lumi at 8:34 AM
March 20, 2007
March Radness: Is Round 1 Over Yet?
East Village Idiot
Fill in your brackets folks — footprint property owner Henry Weinstein isn't the only one to recently score an upset against Bruce Ratner's Atlantic Yards plan:
Lots of close matches and upsets yesterday. I guess people get frustrated with the status quo on Mondays. The power went to the people, as Develop Don’t Destroy Brooklyn out-protested Atlantic Yards. An influx of voters from a certain non-profit organization’s website seemed to help.
The score:
(3) Atlantic Yards 28 (14) Develop Don’t Destroy Brooklyn 72
Posted by lumi at 9:19 PM
March 18, 2007
Sunday Comix
Posted by amy at 9:58 AM
March 16, 2007
International Speedway Corporation Launches Park Slope Bid
Learning from Staten Island, NASCAR Plans Central Brooklyn Circuit;
Cars would race down 7th Avenue to Prospect Avenue, then back up 6th Avenue to Flatbush, and back to 7th
NoLandGrab disclaimer: This just showed up this morning in our In Box. Any resemblance to the real International Speedway Corporation is purely coincidental. Any resemblance to public officials... well, you decide.
BROOKLYN– Executives of the International Speedway Corporation announced a major new initiative today, aimed at bringing the thrill of NASCAR-style racing to one of the country’s most demographically desirable markets: Park Slope, Brooklyn.
After an attempt to bring family-friendly Motorsports Entertainment™ to Staten Island, where ungrateful residents, and their short-sighted representatives in the New York City Council, gave a flat tire to plans for an 80,000-seat racetrack and “lifestyle venue,” ISC decided to take its effort to the streets – literally.
“We learned from our missteps with Staten Island,” said ISC CEO Joe King. “Our mistake was in trying to build a huge new track – communities are often resistant to large-scale construction. In Park Slope, we’re proposing to use existing streets for racing. With the help of New York City’s Department of Transportation, we look forward to establishing optimal racing conditions.”
“We’re excited about helping to bring high-speed racing to this underserved part of the borough,” said Iris Weinshall, outgoing NYC DOT Commissioner. “With the proper signal timings, drivers should be able to hit speeds of 60 or 70 miles per hour on the straightaways.” Ms. Weinshall added that the large population of small children, dogs and moms with strollers would add an “exciting, reality-type aspect” to the racing. “I think of it as my parting gift to the neighborhood,” she said.
ISC initially explored establishing their racing operation on Brooklyn’s Fourth Avenue. “But Deputy Mayor Dan Doctoroff quickly set us straight,” said King. “He told us that new luxury-condo buyers, who are a growing constituency on Fourth Avenue, aren’t typically big NASCAR fans. We checked our market research, and sure enough, he was right.” As a result, ISC decided to target the quieter local streets, instead.
In conjunction with the proposed “Atlantic Yards,” an enormous mixed-use development expected to feature huge high-rise buildings, a basketball arena and at least three Chuck E. Cheeses and six Starbucks, the ISC plan for an on-street speedway will bring true excitement to the area. “‘The culture of inertia’ won’t know what hit them when a three-ton Chevy Tahoe moving at 57 MPH blows by,” said Senator Charles Schumer, husband of the outgoing DOT Commissioner.
ISC CEO King was certain that the ugly behavior of union members – one physically assaulted a Councilmember during a public hearing on Staten Island – would not be repeated in Park Slope. “De Blasio’s too big, anyway” said King.
Commissioner Weinshall’s enthusiasm for the plan was clear. “We’re going to nominate ISC’s proposal for one of our innovation awards,” the Commissioner said. “We call them the DOTties. This is unquestionably a DOTty idea.”
International Speedway Corporation is a leading promoter of motorsports activities, currently promoting more than 100 racing events annually as well as numerous other motorsports-related activities. The Company owns and/or operates 13 of the nation's major motorsports entertainment facilities, including Daytona International Speedway in Florida, home of the Daytona 500.
Posted by lumi at 1:09 PM
March 12, 2007
Ka-ching! Barclays Bank(?) seeking to give NLG $6.2 million!
Could this be the reparations everyone is seeking from the bank with alleged ties to some of recent history's most shameful institutions? [Gotcha! We're talking about Forest City Ratner and the Empire State Development Corporation.]
Maybe the British bank is hoping to silence NoLandGrab with an early retirement plan. Or, might this be the windfall that we deserve for a job well done?
This just landed in the ole NLG mailbox:
Barclays Bank PLC
International Banking Centre
38 Hans Crescent, Knightsbridge
London SW1X 0LZ-United Kingdom
http://www.barclays.co.ukSir/Madam,
RE:INSTRUCTION TO CREDIT YOUR ACCOUNT WITH THE SUM OF US$6,200,000.00
We at this bank wishes to congratulate and inform you that after thorough review and evaluation of your Inheritance/Contract funds in conjunction with the World Bank Auditor General and the International Monetary Fund (IMF) assessment report, your payment file was forwarded to us for immediate transfer of the above quoted amount to your designated bank account from their offshore account with us.
The reports given to us shows that you have been going through hard times by paying a lot of money to see to the release of your funds, which has been delayed by some dubious officials.
We therefore advice that you stop further communication with any correspondence outside this office since you do not have to pay any money or fee to receive your Inheritance/Contract funds as you have met up with the whole funds transfer requirements.
The only thing required from you is to obtain the Non-Residential Clearance Form to enable us credit your account directly by telegraphic transfer or through any of our corresponding banks and send copies of the funds transfer release documents to you and your bankers for confirmation.
Should you follow our directives, your funds will be credited and reflect in your account within five (5) bank working days from the day you obtain this Non-Residential Clearance Form.
For further details and assistance on this Remittance Notification, kindly forward your FULL CONTACT ADDRESS, TELEPHONE and FAX NUMBERS directly to my Private E-mail: suzannenorman@aggies.com
Yours sincerely,
Mrs. Suzanne Norman Head, International Banking Division. Barclays Bank Plc, UK
Posted by lumi at 8:16 AM
March 11, 2007
Sunday Comix
Posted by amy at 12:38 PM
March 4, 2007
Sunday Comix
Clues on the role and whereabouts of Hunley-Adossa might be found in Atlantic Yards Report's August, 2006 article on Brooklyn Endeavor Experience (BEE!).
Posted by amy at 4:41 PM
February 25, 2007
Sunday Comix
Malcolm Armstrong
Posted by amy at 11:59 AM
February 22, 2007
Community Liason
The NoLandGrab Community Liason took this photo of the outside of the "Atlantic Yards Community Liason" office, which has a curious political statement above the buzzer.
Posted by lumi at 6:34 AM
February 18, 2007
Desktop Day: Creature from Atlantic Yards
Brit In Brooklyn immortalizes dirty snow in this hagiographic desktop wallpaper.
Born of carbonic acid and toxic waste, this mutated slush puppy will fit on a 1024-by-768 monitor.
Posted by amy at 9:25 AM
February 11, 2007
Brooklyn Love and Preservation Stuff
Andrew J Lederer mourns the loss of Roll-n-Roaster, but puts it into perspective:
Roll-n-Roaster is charming and has good food but it will not be a tragedy of the highest order to see it go.I would gladly have traded it for the protection of that mid-19th century dry dock in Red Hook that's to be supplanted by an Ikea.
And let's scale back that Ratner/Gehry project in Prospect Heights.
And develop Coney Island in way that respects its glorious history.
For those things, I can give up a Roll-n-Roaster san-a-wich.
Posted by amy at 1:10 PM
February 4, 2007
All Drawn Out
The Brooklyn Paper
Posted by amy at 12:15 PM
January 29, 2007
MASHUP: More Money Than Brains?
Today's Brownstoner post about a curious flyer that has recently been showing up on front stoops inspired a parody, sent to us by someone with too much time on their hands and who may or may not be feeling some heat from some guy named "Bruce."
Posted by lumi at 8:07 PM
January 26, 2007
Barclay chief's gaffe recalls Ratner howler
They call it 'doing a Ratner' - in memory of the famous gaffe committed by Gerald Ratner back in 1991, when he admitted selling "crap" in his High Street shops.
BBC News Online
By Bill Wilson
Now the boss of the UK's largest credit card company has done it in such a spectacular fashion that it left business observers open-mouthed.
Barclays chief executive Matt Barrett candidly criticised his own product, suggesting that the astute consumer would do well to steer well clear of it.
Posted by lumi at 11:07 AM
January 21, 2007
Sunday Comix
An intrepid reader sends this cartoon along...suggesting Barclay's might have missed out on a cheaper deal?
Posted by amy at 12:50 PM
December 25, 2006
We Three Men of Albany Are
We three men of Albany are
Bearing gifts we traverse afar
Buildings rise, subsidies and lies
Following yonder star
Born a King on Cleveland’s shore
Goldstein’s home and many more
Bruce forever, ceasing never
Your money we adore
Chorus:
Oh…
Oh Bruce Ratner, prince of night
Scar on Brooklyn’s beauty bright
Downward leading, ever-greeding
Traffic will be a fright
Frank Gehry will blot out the sky
Bear’s Garden, reflections will fry
Pray'r and praising, temp’ratures raising
Our fealty your money will buy
Myrrh-iad of subsidies bloom
Public process Ratner will doom
Oder tried, request was denied
Thanks to three men in a room
Glorious now behold the highrise
Brownstone Brooklyn sure will despise
Alleluia, Alleluia
Built upon deceit and lies
Posted by lumi at 8:47 AM
December 24, 2006
Sunday Comix
A lighting-fast public comment period,
ignoring the concerns of existing residents,
using eminent domain for Bruce Ratner,
repeated refusal to disclose financial information,
for a project of historical proportions,
how did the "Three Men in a Room" in Albany let this happen?
Hey, hey we're the Monkeys...
Posted by lumi at 9:20 AM
December 21, 2006
Thursday Comix
Posted by lumi at 9:59 AM
December 20, 2006
Silver Bails
Dope on the Slope has the jump on the latest Ratner carol:
Silver bails, Silver bails
It's rip-off time in the city
ching-ka-ching, feel it sting
Oversight is so passé
Click here for the rest.
Posted by lumi at 7:48 PM
December 10, 2006
The Little Boondoggle is Growing Up Fast!
Happy Bruce Day to You!
It looks like a boondoggle,
and it smells like one too!
How old are you now?
Posted by amy at 1:36 PM
December 8, 2006
Silent Night/Blighted Heights
Kudos to the only group in the universe that makes "Silent Night" sound like a drinking song!
And speaking about drinking, drop by Freddy's, the footprint watering hole, for a pint of good cheer (ABBL, anything but Brooklyn Lager)!
Posted by lumi at 9:00 AM
December 7, 2006
Twelve Days of Christmas - Bruce Ratner Christmas Carol
On the third day of Christmas, Bruce Ratner took from me:
THREE neighborhoods,
TWO thoroughfares, and
An apartment for my family.
Posted by lumi at 8:22 AM
December 6, 2006
Winter Wonderland Ratner Christmas Carol
Today's carol features a cameo by the Mayor and a kick-ass recorder solo by the multi-talented Chris Owens, though you may still need your earplugs!
Posted by lumi at 9:03 AM
December 5, 2006
Prospect Heights Action Carolers
What they lack in intonation and rhythm, they make up for in volume and snazzy lyrics.
Deck the hood with Ratner greenbacks, Ba-ba-ba-ba-baa Back-room Deal!
Posted by lumi at 8:20 AM
December 3, 2006
Let Ratner Rule!
Prospect Heights Action Carolers song of the day featuring Chris Owens! Here are some excerpted lyrics:
ESDC your messiness is troubling,
Atlantic Yards deserves careful review.
FEIS has everybody crying
We can't believe that you won't tell the truth!
No adequate assessment of the problems,
Police and fire and schools and sewage drains.
Let Ratner Rule! Is all we hear in your voices.
But we will not yield, we resist, we stand our ground.
Posted by amy at 5:28 PM
November 26, 2006
The Afternoon Wrap: Friday
The Real Estate
Brownstoner asked: "What if you were a wealthy philanthropost [sic] who could write a $100 million check to fund any infrastructure or public project in Brooklyn?" In chronological order, his readers dreamed up: trolley cars, bike lanes, a high school, a complete transportation system for northeastern Brooklyn, a complete transportation system for southeastern Brooklyn, a large parking lot, Ratner's exile, pre-schools, etc. We say: More high-end pre-schools! And trolleys! [Brownstoner]
Posted by amy at 7:22 PM
November 5, 2006
Sunday Comix: Marathon Edition
Posted by amy at 3:34 PM
November 4, 2006
A humbling encounter with a (civilian) reader
Atlantic Yards Report
I assume that most readers of this blog have a keen interest in the Atlantic Yards project, whether they be concerned local residents, government or organizational officials, people who work with the developer, or the press.But earlier this week, at a bank in Park Slope, I encountered someone far less invested. She told me she'd noticed my op-ed in the print edition of Monday's Metro, which was accompanied by my photo.
Me What did you think?
She: Well, I didn't finish it.
Me: It was only 500 words.
She: I'm not much of a reader.
The lesson, as a reader reminds me: very few people, even Brooklynites, have an informed opinion of the Atlantic Yards project.
link
AYR should have pointed her to NoLandGrab - Atlantic Yards news for the ADD set...
Posted by amy at 12:04 PM
October 8, 2006
Sunday Comix
We stumbled across this oldie, earlier this week, while searching for an image of the Chairman.
Check out more of illustrator and political cartoonist Mark Wilson's work at www.empirewire.com.
Posted by lumi at 8:42 AM
September 23, 2006
Six-to-Eight Percent Solutions
Sunday funnies came a little bit early this week due to the class clowns over at the New York Times. Mr. McCall makes a mockery of the idea of a 6-8% scaleback argument, but he could have used an example a little closer to home:.
The New York Times is planning to reduce the size of the newspaper, making it narrower by one and a half inches, and to close its printing operation in Edison, N.J., company officials said yesterday.
cartoon page
Don't forget to tell the New York Times what you think of their sense of humor. Write from the heart, and then scale back 6-8% of the vitriol.
Or, if your interpretation of the cartoon is still up in the air, take part in the Brooklynian poll.
Posted by amy at 7:21 PM
September 12, 2006
Fat Cat Ratner says, "Vote Early and Often"
Since there's not much Atlantic Yards action on primary election day, we offer you this Dr. Seuss remix.
Posted by lumi at 7:59 AM
August 22, 2006
Brooklyn's Captain Marvel
The 57th AD race just got real interesting.
The Politicker is reporting that 57th AD candidate Billy Batson is in fact Captain Marvel.
So it's the NY Times endorsement versus a super hero. Now that's a race.
Posted by lumi at 11:18 AM
August 20, 2006
Sunday Comix from the Brooklyn Papers
Posted by amy at 10:20 AM
August 19, 2006
Marty Gets Schooled
The Real Estate is ROTFL over Dope on the Slope:
Dope on the Slope, how we love ye! After the jump, check out Mr./Ms. Dope's Brooklyn Borough Cheerleader Marty Markowitz takedown. Clever, witty and to the point.
Posted by amy at 11:48 AM
Looking at the Look Book
Gawker:
We've no proof of this, but we bet Jarvis Wong, featured in this week's installment of New York mag's Look Book, lives in Brooklyn. The belt, the glasses, the iPod -- just a hunch. He's an architect who considers himself an "urban nerd" and likes to dress as as minimal as he designs his buildings. Or something.
...
Being an architect and all, what are Jarvis's thoughts on the Brooklyn Ratner project?He's psyched because then he wouldn't have to go all the way to East Rutherford to see Coldplay.
...
Given that Jarvis doesn't really "do Brooklyn" these days, he still finds the whole thing a quite engaging topic of conversation during his bi-monthy petit degustation loft parties. Though he likes to pander to the Develop Don't Destroy coalition (his spectacles hookup works with Safran Foer and Lethem; can't burn that bridge), he secretly loves the idea of ginormous, hulking buildings juxtaposed with cobblestone hood-ness. It's so crossimilated!
...
Well, Jarvis submitted his own proposal for that same piece of land but it was rejected. Honestly, I'm sort of excited to live near a new basketball stadium, but I'd much rather've lived next to a life-size replica of the Ancient Klingon City, Glaarg.
Posted by amy at 11:34 AM
August 18, 2006
Subject: Edits to BUILD Flyer
Date: Fri, 17 Aug 2005 02:38:46
From: NoLandGrabby
Subject: edits to BUILD flyer
To: info@buildbrooklyn.org
CC: bruce@fcrc.com, jim@fcrc.com, askmarty@brooklynbp.org, mbloomberg@cityhall.nyc.gov
Attachment: See below
X-JunkMail: NotJunk
hey there.
thanks for the flyer - the pics of jay-z and the nj nets in action are mad cool and are hanging up in my locker next to beyonce and my autographed portrait of marty markowitz.
i don't mean to by pushy, but (imho) i think you guys may have forgotten a few things on the flyer, so i made some edits/corrections (see below).
[btw: the esdc web site sez the hearing is @4:30, but you probably know best.]
ttyl :)
Posted by lumi at 9:01 AM
August 15, 2006
Shrill Of The Week: Weeds
Last week Dope on the Slope fully embraced his inner-shrill. This week he rhapsodizes about "weeds" and wildflowers and wonders what Marty has been smokin'.
Posted by lumi at 11:11 AM
August 10, 2006
Shrilljoy
Dope on the Slope has a confession:
I'm shrill.
Some of my best friends are shrill.
As the tastemakers and trendspotters might say, "shrill is the new black," and I'm proud to be on the cutting edge.
Read the riotously funny and "shrill" op-ed from Dope that will have you reaching for a kielbasa!
Posted by lumi at 10:49 PM
BRUCE JOINS BANDWAGON, CALLS FOR MORE TIME FOR PUBLIC REVIEW
STUCKEY SAYS, "DOH!"
The Daily Snooze
By Joe King
NEW YORK, NY — Developer Bruce Ratner stunned Atlantic Yards supporters and critics alike when he held a press conference yesterday on the steps of City Hall, calling on the Empire State Development Corporation to allow for more time for the public to review of the Atlantic Yards Draft Environmental Impact Statement.
The do-gooding liberal developer stated, "Fair is fair. We've had over two years to produce two-thousand pages explaining why Brooklynites will barely even notice that Atlantic Yards is there. The public needs more than two months to read the sucker and figure out we're right."
When reached for comment Forest City Ratner Atlantic Yards Development Group President James P. Stuckey replied, "Doh!"
Ratner attributed his flip-flop to concerns from project supporters, "Rog and Spitz (Assemblymember Green and Attorney General Spitz) told me that the current schedule of hearings was political suicide and that any progressive power-to-the-people mega-millionaire would give the shrill vitriolic liberal white anti-everything NIMBYs a chance to read the fine print."
Speaking at the press conference Rev. Darius N. Sundry, mentioned that "Ratner was sent by God." When asked to elaborate, Sundry added, "Jobs, Housing and — what's that third thing? Hoops? — yeah, Hoops!"
This announcement took Atlantic Yards Reporter Norman "the Mad Overkiller" Oder off guard. Uncharacteristically, he had nothing to say but explained that he would be posting "a 5337-word analysis of the recent development by first light."
Project critic and Develop Don't Destroy Brooklyn spokesperson Daniel Goldstein was scheduled to hold his own press conference, but was detained when he was stuck in an elevator for four hours.
Only Brooklyn Borough President and Cheerleader in Chief Marty Markowtiz remains as the sole supporter of the current review schedule. Markowitz has publicly stated (this is no joke folks!), "Extending the public-comment period to 66 days — more than double the required 30 for a DEIS — and holding two open public sessions, including one in September, instead of the required one, represents a fair attempt by ESDC to address the concerns of some in the community regarding a summer hearing."
Rumors that Markowitz will not be testifying at the August 23rd hearing, due to a previously scheduled family vacation, have not been confirmed or denied by the Beep's office.
Forest City Ratner spokesperson Joseph deCobbleHill was not available for comment at press time.
Posted by lumi at 6:02 AM
June 25, 2006
Turf wars
Gumby Fresh responds to Community Average Folk 101's 10 question regarding "WHO WOULD NOT WANT ECONOMIC DEVELOPMENT AND AFFORDABLE HOUSING FOR COMMUNITY RESIDENTS WHO ARE IN NEED?"
1. Should average "regular" community folks opinions count?
Of course, we shouldn't let the extremely high-priced PR professionals employed by Forest City Ratner dominate discussion of the project.
2. How does one determine whose opinion(s) are more urgent and/or significant than others?
I think the groups that raise the greatest sums from the developer probably have the most valid opinions.
3. What makes folk think that they have all the answers?
That's a zen, right? Oh no, it's not, is it? It's the first recorded use of a Markowitzism
4. How do you feel about the Atlantic Yards Project (AYP)?
Like "The Warriors", it makes me nostalgic for the 70s, when such stupidity was cutting edge. Quite often I've lain awake at night and wondered "what if all of Brooklyn looked like Metro Tech?"
Posted by amy at 6:00 PM
June 20, 2006
PRESS RELEASE: The Atomic Grind Show Opposes Atlantic Yards
Local Band Joins the Fight Against Bruce Ratner's "Atlantic Yards”
Brooklyn, NY – The Atomic Grind Show, the carnival rock band that entrances audiences in backrooms, speakeasys and circuses throughout Gotham, announced today its opposition to the proposed Atlantic Yards development project in Prospect Heights, Brooklyn.
The members of The Atomic Grind Show, who all live in Brooklyn, strongly believe that they had to immediately make a public statement against a taxpayer boondoggle, super-sized development and the questionable use of eminent domain. “I was feeling political when I woke up this morning,” said dynamic male vocalist Joel Garland, “so I said to myself, ‘hey, let’s oppose Atlantic Yards’. Everyone's doing it.” Organist and emcee Shane Rettig quickly added, “This is not some cheap publicity stunt, either.”
“Putting an arena and sixteen skyscrapers at one of the busiest intersections in the city will mean even more time spent in the van on the way to a gig and even less time spent at the bar before the show. That's totally unacceptable,” said bassist Geoff Zink.
Observing how much momentum a musical talent can bring to a community-based cause with Dan Zanes’ recent Develop Don’t Destroy family benefit concert, the members of the Atomic Grind Show felt they needed to do the same. At their April 20, 2006 CD release party, The Atomic Grind Show debuted a composition entitled “The Rat King” to the attending crowd's delight.
"It’s funny because we didn't even have Bruce Ratner in mind when we wrote the song, but we later realized that the song described someone just like him" drummer Matt Moore explained. “It's a total coincidence,” exclaimed saxophonist Christian Parkess. “Life's kooky sometimes, isn't it?”
The live recording of “The Rat King” is available on The Atomic Grind Show's web site. Go to www.atomicgrindshow.com/Music.htm to listen.
Posted by lumi at 8:22 AM
June 18, 2006
BABES OF B'KLYN
New York Post
A bevy of Brooklyn beauties is heating up a pinup calendar touting the borough."Each month features a girl-next-door photographed at a traditional site in her specific Brooklyn neighborhood," said Windsor Terrace native and Brooklyn College junior Jennifer Baker, 21, one of the three Catholic-schooled founders of Brooklyn Calendar Girls LP.
How could anyone have overlooked such an obvious choice for centerfold?
Posted by amy at 11:27 AM
Doughnut Blog
This Sunday morning you might want to enjoy a different kind of Doughnut. This Doughnut is British and does not seem to like FCR's plans. The blog has a number of fun Atlantic Yards proposal stories, including "Rumble in the Rubble: Atlantic Yards Celebrity Deathmatch"
Who's sexier whilst pensive?
You might also want to pay a visit to a familar looking Delta City...
Posted by amy at 10:44 AM
June 15, 2006
Marty on the "take out"
Has Marty broken his pledge to "lighten up Brooklyn?" Regretfully, we share the photographic evidence that the Borough President may be on the "take out."
Posted by lumi at 6:45 AM
May 28, 2006
Sunday Comic: Coming to a theater near you
Posted by lumi at 6:35 AM
May 26, 2006
nolandgrab.COM is for sale for $1,630
A regular reader pointed out that NOLANDGRAB.COM is for sale for a cool $1,630. Since we are an "org-y" kind of group, we'll probably pass.
But for the opposition to fair development in Brooklyn these domain names are still available:
yeslandgrab.com
landgrab.com
morelandgrab.com
atlanticlandgrab.com
aslongasitsnotmylandgrab.com
Posted by lumi at 9:32 AM
May 8, 2006
Monday Comix: TARGET MARKETING?
We can still hear the tittering coming from Bruce Ratner's offices in Downtown Brooklyn. Today's joke is on Dan Goldstein, spokesperson for Develop Don't Destroy Brooklyn.
While Dan sits around waiting for an eminent domain eviction notice, he can peruse his own personal copy of the glossy four-color 12-page brochure promoting the project that seeks to kick him out of his Pacific Street residence.
Included in the info-sational brochure is a mail-in card, on which Dan can check off all the things he likes about the project. Or, he could just tape the card to a brick and drop it off at the post office, since Ratner is responsible for all postage costs.
Posted by lumi at 7:36 AM
April 30, 2006
On My Command Unleash Ribs
Gumby Fresh challenges Ratner to a media garnering street fight:
And finally, proof that possibly Brooklynites have been much too restrained at public hearings on the Atlantic Yards project. Nascar has been trying to build a course on Staten Island for a few months now, and has even purchased some land for the purpose. I had thought that maybe they deserved each other, and had not paid too much attention to the subject.My bad. A recent hearing on the subject erupted into a riot - scuffles, cops, unseemly rhetoric, the lot. Now, we always knew that Staten Islanders were not that well-schooled in the finer points of discourse (Exhibit A: Fossella, Vito), but this was a marvelous display of lunkheadedness from the New Jersey annex. But, the whole thing did dominate the news cycle in a way that the earnest meetings on the Atlantic Yards often fail to do. So I am officially challenging Bruce Ratner to a fight. The parking lot of the Vanderbilt McDonalds. Whenever
Posted by amy at 10:17 AM
April 16, 2006
Sunday Comic
Posted by lumi at 10:30 AM
April 13, 2006
A Ratner Haggadah
The Brooklyn Papers
Several objectors to Bruce Ratner’s mega-development penned an anti-Ratner parody of the Jewish Haggadah and used it at Seders this week.
In this “Very Brooklyn Haggadah,” the four questions ["To be sung by the youngest real estate developer at the seder."] don’t include, “Why is this night different from all other nights?” but, rather, “Why is it that in all other projects, buildings stand straight, but in Frank Gehry’s designs, the buildings recline to one side?”
There’s also a raucous, Ratner-ripping version of the classic Passover song, “Dayeinu” — which means “enough.” (For the full Haggadah, see www.leathertomato.com.)
NoLandGrab: Happy Passover. And, don't forget to send your own contributions to the Atlantic Yardseder to passover(at)leathertomato.com.
Posted by lumi at 8:02 AM
April 8, 2006
A Brooklyn Passover Haggadah
The Four Questions
(About Bruce Ratner's Atlantic Yards Project)
To be sung by the youngest real estate developer at the sederWhy is the Atlantic Yards project different from all other real estate development projects?
Question 1:
Why is it that Brownstone Brooklyn consists of unleavened low-rise buildings, but at Atlantic Yards Bruce Ratner wants to build seventeen high-rise buildings?
Question 2:
Why is it that in all other projects the community would be happy for a real estate developer to bring them "jobs, housing and hoops," but in this project the community is so extraordinarily bitter?
Question 3:
Why is it that in all other projects, the developer dips only into his own budget, but in the Atlantic Yards project the developer dips twice - $100 million from the state's budget and $100 million from the city's budget?
Question 4:
Why is it that in all other projects, the buildings stand straight, but in Frank Gehry's designs for the Atlantic Yards project, the buildings recline to one side?
Don't miss the additional Passover ideas here!
Posted by amy at 9:13 AM
February 26, 2006
Sunday Comix
Posted by amy at 12:36 PM
February 19, 2006
Sunday Comix 2
Posted by amy at 12:30 PM
Sunday Comix
For the full clickable image, visit Develop Don't Destroy.
Posted by amy at 12:25 PM
February 13, 2006
Keep on pushin'
According to Bruce Ratner push polling pays. Why else would he turn again to this telemarketing tool, perfected in the hardball world of political campaigning?
For some, push polling is plain irritating. For others it's the perfect opportunity to educate Canadians on the pronunciation of last names of some of our elected officials.
This warning about Bruce Ratner's latest hearts-and-minds campaign was posted on Sunday to a local listserve by a Clinton Hill resident who was contacted around 10 am:
Listmembers might be interested to know that Ratner is sponsoring a push-poll for Brooklynites that's focused on the stadium issue.
I got a phone call this morning putatively asking my opinion about the development of Atlantic Yards, but clearly offering "information" that would convince me that this development was the best thing for Brooklyn since the Bridge (e.g. "Were you aware that the development will bring x many new jobs to Brooklyn? Does that change you opinion" etc., etc.).
The firm they were using had people calling from Quebec -- I asked the woman who was surveying me where she was, having been tipped off by her inability to pronounce "borough," "Pataki," and "Markowitz."
These kind of dirty tricks are pretty typical of political campaigns, particularly on the ideological right. Not much we can do about it, but it's clear that Ratner's nervous about the future of the Atlantic Yards project, and this is another attempt on his part to win hearts and minds.
NoLandGrab: What part of "Jobs, Housing and Hoops" includes outsourcing jobs to Canada?
Posted by lumi at 11:20 AM
Eminent domainia! Cheney vic, battling ed abuse
This comment about VP Cheney's shooting victim from The Wall Street Journal Law Blog:
[Harry Whittington, Esq.] is an Austin, Texas, lawyer currently fighting a battle against his hometown, which has attempted to condemn a downtown block he and his family own to build a parking garage. That’s right, according to the Austin American-Statesmen, Cheney’s hunting buddy is one of the crusaders battling against the Supreme Court’s controversial Kelo decision, in which the Court allowed private eminent domain “takings” for economic development purposes.
Justice Scalia, Cheney’s other hunting buddy and a dissenter in Kelo, would be proud.
Posted by lumi at 10:58 AM
January 13, 2006
Marty Markowitz — scaled down
Not that this has anything to do with Atlantic Yards, but we couldn't help noticing that Marty Markowitz's portrait posted on the Borough President's website has been "scaled down," or more specifically, the "Floor Area Ratio" has been decreased, in an effort to "Lighten Up Brooklyn."
We offer this comparison between the image from the BP's website and the same pic posted on Gothamist in April, 2005.
Posted by lumi at 8:28 AM
January 8, 2006
Sunday Comics
From an alert reader:
http://whereandy.com/pdfs/32999.0800751.pdf
Make your own here - and don't forget to send a copy to start@nolandgrab.org
http://www.whereandy.com/subway.html
(via DailyHeights)
Posted by amy at 10:44 AM
December 31, 2005
GUNMAN AFAR
What ____________ movement is complete without A GROSS SORT of puzzle? (Hint: fill in the blank with an anagram of the bolded phrase.)
Want more ANAGRAM FUN? Surf on over to Dope on the Slope for some clever sidesplitting good times.
Note: If you get all the answers right, you have been paying attention in class this year.
Posted by lumi at 9:01 AM
December 21, 2005
BUILD's funding revealed in member poll
Source: BUILD Message Board
Brooklyn United for Innovative Local Development (BUILD) is posting real-time membership polling results on the topic that has been on everyone's mind during the past year, "Where Does Build Get It's Funding?"
 |
Currently it's a dead heat between the Father of Coney Island and the Easter Bunny, both of whom probably have higher approval ratings than Bruce Ratner.
Posted by lumi at 8:28 AM
December 18, 2005
Sunday Comics Part Deux
From the Brooklyn Papers
Click here to enlarge image.
Posted by amy at 7:49 PM
Sunday Comics
Posted by amy at 10:36 AM
December 11, 2005
Sunday Comic
Posted by amy at 10:46 AM
December 3, 2005
Cartoon of the Day
Posted by amy at 11:49 AM
November 27, 2005
Shooting From the Lip
Mike Lupica of the Daily News is making is list, checking it twice etc...
I am compiling a list of those neighborhood leaders in Brooklyn who have profited the most from the generosity of Caring Bruce Ratner, and will be putting that list in the paper soon.You know, like we do with lottery winners.
Posted by amy at 10:54 AM
November 20, 2005
Sunday Comics
From the funny pages:
Posted by lumi at 7:41 AM
October 31, 2005
Happy Halloween: Rat In Peace
From a Clinton Hill haunted house featured in Brownstoner.
Posted by lumi at 9:27 PM
October 6, 2005
It's a Ratner, Ratner World!
CowPunch
 |
Posted by lumi at 12:04 AM
September 6, 2005
ONE MILLION DOLLARS (BWA-HA, HA, HA, HA, HA)
The Independent Budget Office (IBO) predicts a potential upside of for NYC of ONE M-I-L-L-ION DOLLARS a year for the Atlantic Yards project. That's what $100 MILLION DOLLARS will buy New Yorkers.
And get this — the report predicts a net financial gain by banking that NEW JERSEY Nets fans will cross the border to spend millions of dollars in Brooklyn instead of Jersey.
The IBO report also falls short by not examining the costs associated with traffic and additional city services such as police, fire, sanitation and schools.
Brooklynites have been subjected to enough irony and comedy since this project was annouced nearly two years ago. What taxpayers needed from the IBO report was clarity, not fantasy predictions and obfuscation.
Nevertheless, based upon the assumptions of the IBO report, taxpayers have to wonder if even modest benefits outweigh the need to force people out of their homes.
Posted by lumi at 7:02 PM
September 2, 2005
...and speaking of "strange bedfellows," does Ratner know when he's been licked?
Posted by lumi at 9:25 AM
August 5, 2005
Foreign Policy? Just Get Tips From the Cabby
The NY Times
By Clyde Haberman
Haberman rattles off some suggestions of how the newly appointed US Ambassador to the UN, John Bolton, might get acquainted with the island natives:
Don't just hang out in diplo-land, [Clinton's UN ambassador Bill Richardson] advised Mr. Bolton. "You have to engage the city," he said.
In that spirit, we'd like to offer Mr. Bolton some tips on possible places to visit and people to meet.
For instance, he might want to get together with the developer Bruce C. Ratner and also with critics of Mr. Ratner's plan to build a sports arena in Downtown Brooklyn alongside skyscrapers that may rise 60 stories.
Mr. Bolton could advise them on acceptable heights for buildings. He knows a thing or two on that score. It was he who once said of the United Nations: "The Secretariat building has 38 stories. If you lost 10 stories today " - and here he sliced the air with his hand to show how to do it - "it wouldn't make a bit of difference." The man is a born urban planner.
NoLandGrab: Never one to leave a stone unturned, Ratner has probably already lined up Bolton's political support.
Posted by lumi at 10:00 AM
July 8, 2005
Dope vs. Gehry: Smackdown!!!
The Dope on the Slope
Dopey Slopey is insulted by the comparisons made between his parody post in April on Atlantic Yards and Gehry's sketchy architectural sketch.
It's a jump ball -- DOPE wants his day in court of public opinion! Check it out and you decide.
Commentators get extra points for using common architectural terms like "horizontal thrust," "billowing clouds," and "invisible pressure," and for writing in iambic pentameter.
Posted by lumi at 6:49 AM
July 6, 2005
Dope on the Slope: Mmmmmmmm, Instant Skyline
Dope on the Slope has published the secret recipe for Instant Skyline, breakfast of world-class architects, developers and their political lackeys. Dig in!
Serving Suggestion: Garnish with homemade PR blurbs in the NY Times and willfully ignorant politicians. For extra nuttiness, you may wish to add of dollop of ACORN butter.
The real question is...
who ordered this dish?
Posted by lumi at 6:53 AM
June 10, 2005
Atlantic Yards Project Reaches First Base
Curbed.com
So just how did the Association of Community Organizations for Reform Now (ACORN) get put in charge of processing the applications for the affordable housing units that are part of Bruce Ratner's Atlantic Yards development plan?
Posted by lumi at 12:25 PM
April 30, 2005
Land Store
By M. Fullilove
Background: Columbia University paid $300,000 to the Empire State Development Corp to begin a "blight" investigation.
Posted by lumi at 5:03 PM
April 29, 2005
EXCLUSIVE: Ratner's Revised Plan for AY Revealed!
Dope on the Slope
A batallion of Ratner PR reps unleash the revised plan for Atlantic Yards. Dubbed, "Brooklyn Will Always Have A Heart, A Home, And Hoops Aplenty" or BWAHAHAHAHA, the new plan features many cutting-edge and innovative new features such as a radium-illumitated clock tower, escalator tubes, Hot-Rod museum and more...
Posted by lumi at 8:56 AM
March 21, 2005
Blast from the Past
Familiar issues and faces abound as Ratner's completes his crossing to the darkside. James Stuckey still works for the city and Donna Hennes is not yet being quoted about how "fairly" she was treated by FCR.
Dare we imagine a world where: * DDDb's Dan Goldstein accepts a HUGE buyout and becomes a corporate shill? * Marty smiles for the camera during his "perp walk?" * Community Consulting's Brian Ketcham heads the DOT, fighting off desperately needed change? * Fans For Play's Scott Turner is an executive in the Nets' front office? * PICCED's Brad Lander becomes the new Jim Stuckey? * Fort Greene Association's Lucy Koteen is elected Borough President in a landslide victory over her opponent, Bruce Bender?
Posted by lumi at 10:11 AM
March 13, 2005
Prickly City
By Scott Stantis
www.ucomics.com
NoLandGrab: Folks down south and out west have told us that Brooklynites need an ENDANGERED SPECIES in Prospect Heights to put the brakes on Ratner's megalopolis. Alas, the only thing endangered here is "justice."
Posted by lumi at 8:45 AM
March 12, 2005
Prickly City
by Scott Stantis
www.ucomics.com
Posted by lumi at 9:47 AM
March 11, 2005
Prickly City
by Scott Stantis
www.ucomics.com
Posted by lumi at 7:05 AM
March 10, 2005
Prickly City
By Scott Stantis
www.ucomics.com
Posted by lumi at 7:15 AM
March 9, 2005
Prickly City
By Scott Stantis
www.ucomics.com
Posted by lumi at 6:38 AM
March 2, 2005
Neighborhood Activist as Sex Symbol
Curbed.com: While we werer musing about whether Leo or Brad would play Dan Goldstein in the movie about the arena fight, others were dreaming about the real thing.
[Dan Goldstein's] determination has made [him]an unlikely sex symbol for preservationists, and at least one female Curbed reader, who emails, "He's our dreamboat spokesperson. Maybe I want him for myself. He's certainly got a nice apartment." Neighborhood activism—so hot!
Posted by lumi at 5:59 PM
February 26, 2005
Daily Heights: Exclusive Interview
The Daily Heights' exclusive interview with the elusive internet prankster and Olympic gadfly that created the NY20$12BILLION spoof campaign featured on www.2012landgrabs.net.
Get the low down on the power of Photoshop and advice on adhesives.
Posted by lumi at 7:06 AM
February 22, 2005
Opponents to Mayor's scheme unveil counter campaign
Opponents to Bloomberg's use of the Olympic bid to rush through approvals for controversial development projects have unveiled a counter campaign.
Posted by lumi at 12:03 PM
February 21, 2005
The Power of Targeted Advertising
DailyHeights.com uncovers Ratner-related merchandising.
What next, the Greedy Real Estate Developer action figure? (Click to enlarge image.) It comes with a Genuine Certified Eminent Domain Condemnation Notification Letter and Limited Edition Wrecking Ball.
Posted by lumi at 5:07 PM
February 8, 2005
Bloomberg threatens to take his ball and go home
The Daily Snooze:
Mayor Bloomberg, during yesterday's press conference, explained that if the Jets stadium deal is not approved, New York would not be awarded the 2012 Olympics and the #7 subway line would not be extended to the West Side. Hizzoner also claimed that the Cablevision proposal would lead to a "glut of housing" on the market. (We're not making this up folks.)
In response to a question about ongoing talks with the Jets, Bloomberg dropped a bombshell -- if the stadium isn't built, the NY Jets would move to New Jersey. Other repercussion may follow:
- the New York Stock Exchange will move to York, PA and to be renamed the "York Stock Exchange,"
- Staten Island moves to NJ,
- Lower Manhattan moves to NJ, and
- the fiscally challenged MTA would be forced to raise fares!
Posted by lumi at 8:52 PM
December 3, 2004
DECORATE DON'T DESTROY BROOKLYN, Press Release:
Forest City Ratner Executive VP Jim Stuckey Speaks for Over Two Hours, Says Nothing
BROOKLYN—Monday night at a Community Board organized “informational meeting”, Forest City Ratner (FCR) Executive Vice President Jim Stuckey, poster boy of the government/corporate revolving-door system, and point man for the FCR proposed 17 skyscraper and arena complex in Prospect Heights, spun a one-way PR lecture. The “information meeting” provided no information for the hundreds of citizens, community board members and politicians hungry for facts and details about Mr. Ratner’s land grab and secret, taxpayer-subsidized backroom deal.
The deeply concerned community, having suffered through the corporate welfare queen’s year-long PR campaign to convince the public that a private developer’s gain is the public’s gain, and that the imposition of a destructive, senseless, and reckless development plan on a diverse neighborhood is merely “collateral damage,” grew increasingly frustrated. Mr. Stuckey used a lot of big words, some of them real big, but managed to say nothing. Members of his grassroots “backup band,” ACORN and BUILD, accompanied the Ratner front man, chanting slogans and cheering throughout.
When Mr. Stuckey evaded a question about whether or not the proposed development site in Prospect Heights is “blighted,” a frustrated citizen yelled out, “you’re blighted.”
The dapper, Community Board 6 District Manager, Craig Hammerman, lost control of the meeting within minutes of the Q&A session. His inability to maintain decorum or decoration at the meeting was directly related to the fact that his Board, as well as CB 2 an 8, had set up a “meeting” format that only allowed for written and moderated questions, with no opportunity for follow-up or rebuttal from a questioner, leaving Mr. Stuckey with the last unctuous, platitudinal word each time.
The reigning PR Diva, Mr. Stuckey hit all of his high notes. Below are a few Stuckey classics, and some new insta-hits: * An intergenerational facility will allow young people to interact with seniors in more positive ways than harassing or mugging them on the street (no joke folks). * We are going to raise the bar and set a new precedent for how development is done in this city. * From the very beginning we’ve worked very hard to involve the community, and our availability here tonight is proof. * There are going to be no taxpayer dollars spent on our development, only on the affordable housing and infrastructure, which is the job of the city anyway. * From the very beginning this project was about jobs, housing, and bringing basketball to Brooklyn, and did I mention jobs and housing. * We didn’t buy the team to get a real estate deal.
Nathaniel Goldmine, Decorate Don’t Destroy Brooklyn spokesperson, wondered aloud, “Where does this guy get the balls? We’re not as dumb as he sounds, or at least as he pretends to be.”
Elected officials were reduced to shouting out and heckling along with their constituents. The closest the community got to hearing from a governmental body was when Mr. Hammerman read a letter, written by the pseudo-governmental, and unaccountable Atlantic Center Mall tenant, Empire State Development Corporation. The MTA and the City’s Department of Planning sent heartfelt thank you notes for the invitation, but had to decline because “everyone in the office will be at home watching the end of Ken Jennings winning streak on Jeopardy!”
To view the Ratner Proposal, please visit: www.ratnerville.com
DECORATE DON’T DESTROY BROOKLYN leads a broad-based community coalition fighting for urban design that will unite our communities instead of blinding them with more tacky neon signage.
Posted by lumi at 7:40 PM
November 28, 2004
Park Slope Courier: "Paper Nabs Ratner's Name"
DISCLAIMER: Though the following article is damn funny, we didn't make it up.
by Erik Engquist
Web surfers looking for Forest City Ratner's home page at http://www.forestcityratner.com get a surprising result: a Brooklyn Papers site featuring articles critical of the company and its controversial Nets arena project.
Brooklyn Papers publisher Ed Weintrob -- finding the url (sic) unclaimed -- rented if for a year beginning August 5, and set it up to automatically forward visitors to a brooklynpapers.com page with articles such as "Earth to Bruce: Facts show he owns less land" and "Members: Ratner owns community boards."
We called for an explanation.
"It's clearly a newspaper Web site. We're not masquerading as a Forest City Web site," Wintrob explained. "I think it's a fairly above-board and honest thing."
He added, "If you go to the site, you see all of our stories -- pro, negative, and neutral."
We found negative and neutral, but not much in the way of pro-Ratner stories (unless you consider "Land grab goes to court" to be complimentary).
Well, there was a mostly positive article by reporter Deborah Kolben about the July 25 opening of Target in Ratner's Atlantic Terminal mall. Kolben left the Brooklyn Papers shortly thereafter. No, we're not suggesting anything.
Weintrob said people who type forestcityratner.com into a browser are seeking information about the company, and his newspaper's Web site provides it.
But Forest City Ratner spokesman Joe DePlasco saw another motive.
My guess is that they know people are more likely to get honest information by going to Forest City Ratner than to Brooklyn Papers and they are trying to kidnap them along the way. As everyone knows, Mr. Weintrob is completely opposed to this project, which is fine, but it would still be nice of him to let his reporters provide accurate and objective information. But hey, it's his newspaper and he wants to impose his view upon his people."
Weintrob has written columns against Ratner's project but said forestcityratner.com links "to our coverage of what Forest City is doing in Brooklyn. They're news stories. I wouldn't call it an advocacy site for anything."
Posted by lumi at 9:28 PM
NoLandGrab Exclusive:
Brooklyn Musicians Seek Community Benefits Agreement with Ratner
A group of Brooklyn musicians have broken away from the coalition of local activists who oppose Bruce Ratner's proposal, in order to independently negotiate a Community Benefits Agreement (CBA) that addresses the needs of freelance musicians who live in Brooklyn or somewhere else, NoLandGrab has learned.
Whitney Benjamin (aka Whitney Been-Jamin'), a Prospect Heights resident and charter member of Brooklyn Underemployed Musicians Making Employment Real (BUMMER), has admitted that he has been participating in closed-door negotiations with FCR Exec. VP Jim Stuckey. Been-Jamin' gives the following reason for his break with arena opponents: "Develop Don't Destroy and their supporters were, like, really bumming me out. When I heard Stuckey say that FCR's door was open, I called him up. You know, he is not really the anti-christ -- he actually cares."
(click the link below to read the Draft CBA)
BROOKLYN UNDEREMPLOYED MUSICIANS CBA
The following is a draft Community Benefits Agreement submitted for review to Forest City Ratner, Inc. concerning the Brooklyn Atlantic Yards proposal. The purpose of this agreement is to provide increased employment opportunities and insure the quality of life for Brooklyn-based Musicians, and those in the surrounding area. Any similarity to Local 802 policy is coincidental and should be taken with a grain of salt.
EMPLOYMENT
A. All half time events at Nets games shall include no less than 12 “live” (actual breathing) musicians, wardrobe shall be provided as well as a fully catered hot meal.
B. Any use of synthesizers or digital samplers to enhance musical arrangements or provide "musical environment" shall be offset with double scale payments to the synthesist performer as well as the instrumentalists replaced.
C. Any musician used to play multiple instruments (i.e., singers playing tambourines, trombone players playing bass drum) will also be paid double scale.
D. Vocalists will be paid according to Screen Actors Guild (SAG) contract, and any visual appearances on TV (accidental or intentional) by either vocalists or musicians will be subject to SAG royalties and re-use fees. Fans in attendance who sing may also have the option of joining SAG for possible royalties, though the $2,000.00 initial-membership fee may be a prohibiting factor.
E. Additionally, musicians will be entitled to first rights for concession jobs on a nightly basis if there are any vacancies not filled by regular employees of the arena, and if they are not deemed a safety hazard in the performance of these duties.
ADDITIONAL PERFORMANCE VENUES
A. Any public courtyard or convening areas that are part of the arena, or the surrounding 17 building megaplex shall include stages, lighting and amplification for up to 12 actual breathing musicians.
B. As well as direct payments and royalties to performers (outlined in paragraph #1) there will also be a fully catered, hot meal provided to performers at each gig.
C. The above-mentioned performances, staffing, and facilities will be paid for privately by the Forest City Ratner Board of Trustees. An initial budget plan of $10,000,000.00 will be outlined in a separate document.
D. In addition to pre-planned performances, there shall be designated "Street Performer Areas" demarcated by a painted white circle approximately 12 feet in diameter placed every other street corner. These areas will be available and active between the times of 12:00 p.m. and 10:00 p.m. daily.
HEALTHCARE BENEFITS
A. There shall be a fund set up by Forest City Ratner in conjunction with Local 802 which stipulates that 5% of proceeds from every Net's game will go to a Musician's Health Insurance Fund (MHIF).
B. MHIF will be used to cover the costs of the new Musicians Comprehensive Health Care Plan (The Plan). The plan will be "total coverage" including all major and minor medical needs, full dental, and drug prescription coverage as well as coverage for psychological counseling and alternative healing methods.
C. To qualify for the The Plan, a musician must meet at least two of the following criteria:
- Own or have access to a musical instrument.
- Use said instrument as primary source of income or unemployment.
- Live in Brooklyn, Queens, Bronx, Manhattan (including Harlem and Washington Heights), or within a 50 mile radius of Brooklyn Atlantic Yards.
- Perform live, in the studio, or the shower at least 3 times/year. This also includes karaoke appearances.
- Belong to the Park Slope Food Co-op.
D. In the event that proceeds from Net's games fail to cover The Plan's costs from lack of attendance caused by an abysmally performing team, inability of fans to reach the arena due to horribly ensnarled traffic or the fact the Brooklyn Atlantic Yards proposal is scuttled and the thing never gets built in the first place, The Forest City Ratner Board of Trustees will personally cover all remaining costs.
E. We recognize this is a new and brave proposal and therefore recommend a trial Health Care Plan period of 200 years.
F. Finally, due to possible conflict of interest, no member of the Forest City Ratner Board or Marty Markowitz will be eligible for The Plan.
HOUSING
A. If, over our dead bodies, this monstrosity is actually completed, 95% of available housing in the 17 high-rise buildings will be made available to musicians (see definition in chapter 3, paragraph C.) at a fixed cost of $300.00/month.
As per chapter 3, paragraph F, certain restrictions apply.
Submitted for you approval by Whitney Benjamin (Local 802 and Co-op member) dated Friday, November 26th, 2004.
Posted by lumi at 7:55 AM
November 27, 2004
Ratner puts the "ugg" in 2-10 Nets
With a 2-10 record, Ratner has put the "ugg" in the Nets.
Result: all-star forward, Kenyon Martin now plays for the N-u-g-g-E-T-S.
*This message is brought to you by R.A.T.N.E.R.
(Rally Against Terrible Non-Ethical Redevelopment).
Posted by lumi at 7:00 PM