July 8, 2008
You know you live in The Footprint when...
The Footprint Gazette
-Your toilet fills with dirt and then stops working right before a holiday weekend when no plumbers are available.
-A hairline crack appears from floor to ceiling in the center of your apartment.
-Your computer hard drive dies at the end of a long day of dust and vibration from construction. (ok maybe that one is just a coincidence. Then again, maybe it ain't)
-The green wall in front of your apartment keeps getting longer
-Taxis have to drop you off a block away, because you aren't agile enough to scale said wall.
-You messed up your good pants learning that you aren't agile enough to scale said wall.
NoLandGrab: You know you live in The Footprint when you live in the City, but yer singin' country.
Posted by lumi at 4:01 AM
June 27, 2008
Ratner's Relocation Plan Revealed!
The Footprint Gazette
After years of empty promises, are workers finally preparing the rent-stabilized holding pen for footprint tenants???
One of the multitudinous reasons that Bruce Ratner's Atlantic Yards Project has lost it's momentum is that the tenants currently living in the proposed construction site have not been offered any clear options for what's to be done with them. There was vague talk of a relocation plan, but that plan never had any kind of details associated with it.
Well the details have finally surfaced and I was lucky to get a shot of where the tenants are to be relocated.
Posted by lumi at 4:36 AM
June 22, 2008
Local: A Brilliant Political Speech, Remixed Into Instant Classic
Daily Kos
We all love local politics. Well here in Brooklyn we are fortunate to have a skilled, principled City Councilwoman named Letitia James representing us.A local blog, The Footprint Gazette has taken a recent speech she gave at a rally against developer Bruce Ratner's Atlantic Yards proposal, and remixed it into an instant classic. It's well worth the listen.
Keep an eye on Tish, as she is called, she has a great career ahead of her.
Posted by amy at 10:50 AM
June 13, 2008
Mr. Markowitz Tear Down This Wall
The Footprint Gazette
A brief history of walls and a historical hysterical speech that left us... well, speechless.
Posted by lumi at 4:32 AM
June 12, 2008
Brooklyn Paper weekly - 6.7.08
Cristian Fleming Weblog
Satirist/Cartoonist Cristian Fleming offers "Brooklyn Day" congratulations to Bruce Ratner.
This might be brilliant if it weren’t so stupid. Let me see if I can summarize. Nobody really wants Atlantic Yards in it’s currently offered state. Bruce Ratner has really fucked this up good and hard, and its a miracle that he has because he has begged, bribed and stolen his way into such a plum deal. So Atlantic Yards sucks, yea? Ratner decided to have a “rally” in support of it. He cuts a deal to get construction workers (yes, the same construction workers that would, of course, be hired to build the Yards development) busy working on other buildings in the area a few hours off, coincidentally right when the “rally” is happening. Throw in some subtle encouragement by union and current site bosses to attend, and some additional bussed in attendees, and you have this sham rally. Of course, if I were looking at a chance to support a future paycheck I could use to support my family in a shitty economy how dumb would I be to not go? You would think that Ratner & Co. might make even the slightest attempt to make this actually look like less of the cynical ploy it really is. Congratulations Bruce, you’re an ass.
Posted by eric at 3:16 PM
June 8, 2008
All drawn out
The Brooklyn Paper
Posted by amy at 5:05 PM
June 1, 2008
Sunday Comix Part Deux
Brought to you by Forest City Ratner and Frank Gehry. (via Curbed)
Posted by amy at 8:38 AM
May 23, 2008
The Closer: Celebrating the year of men - in design
NY Daily News
Is is possible that someone really thinks they already live in Atlantic Yards?
To celebrate the opening day of the 20th annual International Contemporary Furniture Fair, one of the three biggest furniture shows on Earth, the world's top designers and architects mingled with guests among works of art that included nudes, orange industrial squares and small pools of water on different levels of a slate terrace.
...
Designer of the year Todd Bracher talked about American design making a comeback."Everyone says American design is dead," says Bracher, who recently returned from a teaching stint in France to open a studio in Brooklyn's Atlantic Yards. "I was born in Flatlands, Brooklyn. America is alive and kicking."
Folks, this is Atlantic Yards and this is what it looks like now.
If anyone can find Bracher in Atlantic Yards, that would be a story.
Posted by lumi at 5:13 AM
April 29, 2008
Secret, True Identity of Real Estate Developer Revealed!
Disco-era Bruce Ratner or celebrity imposter?
Posted by lumi at 7:01 PM
April 21, 2008
Lunch with Mike, Amanda and Patty
Lost City
SYNOPSIS: The Mayor does lunch by the pool at the Four Seasons with the Commishes of City Planning and Department of Buildings. Everything goes swimmingly until Atlantic Yards overdeveloper Bruce Ratner sends over a bottle of bubbly.
Click here for a laugh.
Posted by lumi at 8:30 PM
April 9, 2008
Bruce Ratner Versus Gowanus: They Did The Mash
Who Walk in Brooklyn
If the image of the Virgin Mary appeared in the oily film on the Gowanus Canal, might true-believers actually anoint themselves with holy water? What about when it's Slick Bruce Ratner?
Berenice (”The Abbott”)/BZA, Photo Editor reports: To the shock of many & delight of all, yesterday afternoon an anonymous reader sent in the near-genius collage at left. I was out surfing in Rockaway but when I got out of the water & was warm enough to check my messages at the library (shout out to the Peninsula branch of the QPL: what’s good, homies?), I agreed with The Publisher: it had to be an inside job. J’accuse?! Not me, boss, & without disparaging the myriad skills of our other editors & reporters, I strongly question whether anyone of them did it either. Can ya’ll imagine, say, an Ernie Koy Jr. or Zyczymy Smacznego sitting there & tweaking the “ripple” effect? I think not. But if– as it was signed– “Diogenes of South Brooklyn” ain’t us then… is it tu or is it vous?
Ce n'etait pas nous! Mais comme Bruce Ratner, ce canal crie "Clean Me!"
Posted by lumi at 4:44 AM
April 2, 2008
The New Gehry Residence in Los Angeles
Here's a really good item we missed yesterday about Atlantic Yards starchitect Frank Gehry's latest creative turn:
It is not often that an architecture master reinvents himself, but that is precisely what Pritzker Prize winning architect Frank Gehry has done. Gehry, who first won international recognition with his own residence, a masterpiece of post-modern architecture, has revealed what can only be described as the first post post-modern architectural work, the New Gehry Residence, completely confounding both his critics and promoters alike.
The New Gehry Residence is located in a nearby suburb of Los Angeles is the newest reinvention of Gehry’s signature architecture. The house, which seems to resemble your typical two story McMansion, has all the details that one would expect from his work. The odd shapes resting one on top of the other seem to look like a gable roof, but are in fact so complex, that it took NASA engineers, and builder and his crew, 6 months to make them work. “We couldn’t get them to work together” said one of NASA’s chief engineers. “When Frank asked us to have the larger shape be nested on top of the other two, we new that this was going to be challenge.”
But wait, there's more!
Posted by lumi at 4:20 AM
April 1, 2008
City Announces Huge April 1 Toll, Thor, Ratner Land Swap
Gowanus Lounge
Breaking news on a major city initiative intended to jump start several Brooklyn development projects.
Gowanus Lounge has learned that the city has engineered a huge land swap to simultaneously address major Gowanus, Atlantic Yards and Coney Island development issues. "Sometimes things don't work out the way we'd like and we all have to deal with it," Mayor Michael Bloomberg said in announcing what he called the Brooklyn Three Way. The Three Way was worked out by departed Deputy Mayor Dan Doctoroff, who brokered the arrangement as a volunteer working while on a business trip in Japan. The City Ethics Board okayed Mr. Doctoroff's shuttle diplomacy.
The broad outline of the arrangement is that Mr. Sitt, who is reviled in Coney Island, will replace Mr. Ratner, who is disliked in Prospect Heights, Park Slope and other surrounding neighborhoods. Mr. Ratner will, instead, develop Gowanus, freeing up the Toll Brothers, for whom there is little neighborhood love, to work in Coney Island, where they have no known opponents. Mr. Doctoroff acknowledged, however, that Mr. Ratner would have some remedial work to do on his image in Gowanus.
Posted by eric at 2:12 PM
Midtown Mews: A Garden of Eden Grows in Manhattan
Manhattanites feeling left out of the Brooklyn Overdevelopment Renaissance now have hope, with the recent announcement of Bruce Ratner's Midtown Mews — it's delirious!
Click on the hot link to view the site plan.
Posted by lumi at 6:53 AM
March 30, 2008
All drawn out
The Brooklyn Paper
Cristian Fleming
Posted by amy at 12:27 PM
March 23, 2008
Sheldon Silver's Silver Dollar Cash Machine
Brooklyn Vs Bush
He does nice things for the people who gives him money, and terrible things to the people who don't. And Spitzer only resigned over going to a prostitute. . . We don't know if this machine actually exists. We do know that Bruce Ratner gave nearly $60,000 to a sneaky account controlled by Silver, and Silver approved Ratner's massive land grab for the Atlantic Yards horror show: 17 huge, ugly skyscrapers funded with $2.2 Billion of our public money. Good to know Sheldon wouldn't do that to Brooklyn for free . . .
Posted by amy at 4:28 PM
Sunday Comix: Recession Stalls Atlantic Yards
Brooklynian, posted by Karl the Druid
Posted by amy at 4:20 PM
March 18, 2008
RATNERKAMI
Posted by lumi at 5:18 AM
March 5, 2008
The Language of Developers, and How to Understand It
Lost City now offers developer doublespeak translation services. Here are the first two to get you started:
Statement: "Our design is meant to respect the historical and architectural context of the neighborhood."
Translation: "This building is not as big and ugly as we'd like it to be."Statement: "We support the approval process."
Translation: "We promised City Hall we'd go through the motions."
Click here for the rest of the hysterical-but-true list.
NoLandGrab: Here's one for the Atlantic Yards opponents who have been hanging around for a few years...
Statement: "When I was young I wanted to be a priest."
Translation: "I am a creep."
Posted by lumi at 6:11 AM
HOT BIRD
Photo by Tracy Collins, via Atlantic Yards Photo Pool.
the HOT BIRD building, 540 Vanderbilt, would be demolished for Atlantic Yards.
Posted by lumi at 5:48 AM
March 2, 2008
Photoshop this newspaper editor and the Brooklyn borough president
Fark.com
(Caption: "Borough President Markowitz accepts an extremely generous check from Brooklyn Paper Editor Gersh Kuntzman, whose ankle cast auction raised $500 for Markowitz’s Camp Brooklyn charity.")
NoLandGrab: Two of our favorite entries below: (And let's hope Miss Brooklyn doesn't come looking for those...)
Posted by amy at 12:14 PM
February 9, 2008
Atlantic Yards Dung Deal
brooklynvsbush brings you a Valentine's Day love song for Bruce Ratner. Or maybe something the opposite of that.
They say Atlantic Yards is a deal that is done...
It's to be made of glass and steel...
But it's really built from dung.
Posted by amy at 10:14 AM
February 2, 2008
Classic Brooklyn Writer Recipe
Brooklyn Daily Eagle
Brad Lockwood tells you the steps you need to take to become both a Brooklynite and a writer:
Once famous, find a cause: Walt Whitman saved Fort Greene Park from developers.-Jonathan Lethem and others are trying to do the same for the neighborhoods surrounding Atlantic Yards.
Find another cause, however provocative. Joseph McCarthy had a thing for “Red-loving” Brooklyn writers, including Arthur Miller, Richard Wright, John Dos Passos and W.E.B. du Bois.
-Bruce Ratner can relate. But where’s the Coney Island Concerned Writers Group or Keep Gowanus Canal Stinking Scribe Committee?
Posted by amy at 1:44 PM
January 20, 2008
Bugs Bunny - Homeless Hare
"Hey you big gorilla, didn't you ever hear of the sanctity of the American home?!"
Posted by amy at 12:00 PM
Brooklyn Paper weekly - 1.19.08
The Brooklyn Paper
bla bla bla bruce ratner uses the courts to steamroll any opposition in his path bla bla. thats progress.
Posted by amy at 11:21 AM
January 6, 2008
Predictions from sublime (Kevin Garnett) to ridiculous (Isiah Thomas)
NY Daily News
Mitch Lawrence
Bruce Ratner finally puts a gold-plated shovel in the Brooklyn soil.But when he digs down, the Nets owner strikes oil - who knew? - and decides right then and there to bag his arena/development project.
The fallout: Ratner decides to keep the Nets at the Meadowlands until his new proposed arena site is built in 2018 on Staten Island.
Posted by amy at 11:19 AM
All drawn out
The Brooklyn Paper
Cristian Fleming
Posted by amy at 10:59 AM
December 25, 2007
358 days since Spitzer Claus came to town!
 |
Posted by lumi at 10:52 AM
December 10, 2007
Scrooge!
Bruce, you've been Scrooged.
[Someone in HR might want to slip this into Bruce Ratner's personnel file, just for funzies.]
This is the sequel to "Elf You (and Your Little Doggie Too!)."
Posted by lumi at 5:20 AM
December 9, 2007
The Twelve Days of Christmas - DAY TEN
Six Meat Buffet
You may remember playing classic Monopoly as a youngster. Sure the games took forever, but remember the fun you had buying property, setting up houses and hotels? Remember the pride you took in actually owning property and protecting that property from interlopers?Well, in the new Monopoly Eminent Domain Edition, you can take as much pride in your property as you want, but remember - in today’s version, that property is temporary. Thanks to SCOTUS’ Kelo decision, this new game version reflects the new American reality that, as long as a developer wants your land and government wants more tax revenue, your property can taken on a whim, and there’s not a damn thing you can do about it!
link
NoLandGrab: Click on the link for more land grab fun!
Posted by amy at 10:18 AM
November 23, 2007
Elf You!
While politicians are eagerly awaiting the appearance of Ratner Clause, the elves are merrily going about their business! [linky]
Posted by lumi at 5:30 AM
November 4, 2007
All Drawn Out
By Cristian Fleming
for The Brooklyn Paper
Posted by amy at 9:29 AM
November 2, 2007
A UFO Lands in a Clinton Hill Graveyard
The NY Sun
The Halloween hangover has probably already been replaced by the fear that there are only 53 more shopping days 'til Christmas, but we thought that NoLandGrab readers would probably want to know that this photo of the Clinton Hill graveyard, where some guy named Ratner is buried, appeared in yesterday's Sun.
GRAVESTONE C0MMENTARY A Halloween-inspired UFO in a graveyard of comic tombstones poking fun at local politics and pop culture on Clinton Avenue between DeKalb and Lafayette avenues in the Clinton Hill section of Brooklyn.
Posted by lumi at 6:17 AM
October 7, 2007
Death throes for arena foes
NY Daily News
Errol Louis gives such an error filled diatribe today, we're glad Norman Oder was up early this morning to deconstruct it:
Atlantic Yards Report: Deconstructing 'Death throes for arena foes'
In his Daily News column today, headlined Death throes for arena foes, Errol Louis repeats many of his past arguments against the Atlantic Yards eminent domain suit.I've responded to most of them already.
He's also ignoring the existence of other lawsuits, including the challenge to the project environmental review, as well as a challenge to the state's relocation offer. And, personalizing the issue, he calls Develop Don't Destroy Brooklyn "Daniel Goldstein's anti-project group," ignoring the many volunteers and supporters.
Smoking gun?
He additionally points out that there's no smoking gun that shows government officials illicitly green-lighting the project. The plaintiffs are asking for discovery, based on a sequence they call illegitmate--an angle of the lawsuit Louis won't address.
Posted by amy at 9:57 AM
October 6, 2007
Debriefer: Comic Max Silvestri
Gridskipper
We're going to imprison you in the city of your choice for the rest of your natural life. You can do anything you want there, but you must stay in that city forever. Where would you choose?
I will probably come off like a toolbox for saying it, but Brooklyn. It is a huge and amazing city with a lifetime's worth of places at which to drink, eat, and also drink. Also, thanks for specifying that I will only be forced to remain in the city for the rest of my natural life. It is good to know that if I die and science finds a way to put my brain in a robot body, I will be free to leave this hypothetical prison-borough. I imagine the Atlantic Yards to be the center of this terrifying panopticon.
article
NoLandGrab posters realize our readers are much smarter than us, but just in case the other NoLandGrabbers are reading this...
pan-op-ti-con-noun
a building, as a prison, hospital, library, or the like, so arranged that all parts of the interior are visible from a single point.
Posted by amy at 11:11 AM
September 29, 2007
All drawn out, The Brooklyn Paper
The Real Deal: Two more tenants give way at Atlantic Yards site
Two tenants in the footprint of Forest City Ratner's Atlantic Yards project have decided to settle with the developer out of court, dropping lawsuits asking compensation for their removal by eminent domain. Four other tenants represented by the same lawyer, Jennifer Levy, are in settlement talks with Ratner. The legal battles have significantly delayed the project, with the first phase's completion slated for 2010.
The Real Estate : Atlantic Yards Case Loses Two Plaintiffs
Posted by amy at 9:52 AM
September 14, 2007
Nacirema na eb ot duorp!
Just between us anthropologists, Bruce Ratner's Atlantic Yards has now, officially, delivered us into America's alternate reality.
Posted by lumi at 7:19 PM
September 2, 2007
Sunday Comix from The Brooklyn Paper
Posted by steve at 8:46 AM
July 24, 2007
Transfiguration 101
flickr, gilly youner's photos
For you Potter fans out there, guess who was spotted by a local wizard at this weekend's Book Party in Soho.
Caption:
David "Lucius" Yassky: apparently escaping from the clutches of Lord Ratnemort, (He Who Should Not Be Paid).
NoLandGrab: There was no sign of "You know who-ner," but that doesn't mean that his spies weren't busy trying to save Christmas for Ratner Clause.
Posted by lumi at 7:38 AM
July 15, 2007
Sunday Comix - Masters of their Domain
Posted by amy at 11:59 AM
July 11, 2007
CAUTION: Ratlantic Yards!
From somewhere deep within the Ratlantic Yards footprint (click to enlarge):
Posted by lumi at 9:17 AM
July 8, 2007
Sunday Comix
Posted by amy at 11:05 AM
July 1, 2007
Sunday Comix from The Brooklyn Paper
Posted by amy at 11:06 AM
Sunday Comix - 421-A Christmas in July Edition: The Ratner Clause
Posted by amy at 11:02 AM
June 24, 2007
Sunday Comix
Posted by steve at 8:27 AM
June 17, 2007
Sunday Comix
Posted by amy at 10:02 AM
June 16, 2007
'Contemporary Architecture With Gary Gehry'
Curbed.com
No comment.
Posted by amy at 10:02 AM
June 10, 2007
Sunday Comix
Posted by amy at 11:24 AM
June 3, 2007
Sunday Comix
Posted by amy at 11:01 AM
May 27, 2007
Sunday Comix
Posted by amy at 10:08 AM
May 22, 2007
"This just in"
NY Post
Here's a "scoop" we missed towards the end of Peter Vecsey's column:
This just in: Column contributor Mike Lione reports the Nets plan to lure New York residents next season by offering them a special season ticket package . . . Buy None, Get Two Free Until We Get To Brooklyn.
Posted by lumi at 8:47 PM
May 20, 2007
Sunday Comix
Posted by amy at 7:32 AM
May 13, 2007
Sunday Comix
Posted by amy at 11:28 AM
May 12, 2007
Sunday Comix - Saturday Edition
According to Forest City Ratner, Jim Stuckey "is an accomplished musician, capable of playing ten instruments."
Posted by amy at 10:55 AM
May 5, 2007
Shrill of the Week: Ratner on the Record
Dope on the Slope
Includes:
- Your Money (That's What I Want)
- Spinning Wheel
- I'm A Steamroller, Baby
- When The Walls Come Tumblin' Down
- On The Shady Side of the Street
- Cheesecake Merengue (for Marty)
- Ballad of Frankie & Frankie
- Good Golly Miss Brooklyn
- Down in the Boondoggles
- Goldsteinfinger
- (I Hate) Everyday People
- The Wreck of the Cleveland SteamerAnd many, many more.
Only $2 Billion in subsidies!
Act now! Supplies are limited.
Posted by amy at 9:49 AM
April 28, 2007
Overheard on Bergen and Flatbush
Two guys talking about the signage on a new store:
"'Arena Bagels and Bialys' - they should have made the words 'Bagels' and 'Bialys' bigger. No around here cares about an Arena."
Posted by amy at 2:15 PM
Shrill Of The Week: More Atlantic Yards Doggerel
There couldn't be a better way to start off the weekend than by reading Dope on the Slope's coverage of the Ward Bakery collapse:
Brucey-Wucey: Ballad Of A Bad Egg
Brucey-wucey knocked down a wall,
Brucey-wucey caused it to fall.
All of his cronies, and
All of his flaks
Couldn't persuade Brooklynites to relax.Limerick Memorializing The Great Ward's Bakery Calamity
There once was a fellow named Bruce,
Whose crew knocked a ton of bricks loose.
They fell to the ground
With a horrible sound.
There's a reason, but there's no excuse.
Posted by amy at 10:51 AM
April 24, 2007
MerriamWebster.com: Word of the Day
April 24, 2007
mythomania
\mith-uh-MAY-nee-uh\ noun
: an excessive or abnormal propensity for lying and exaggerating
Example Sentence:
The therapist speculated that Bruce's mythomania, which makes him want to embellish even the most minor benefits of Atlantic Yards, may have been triggered by an obsession with eminent domain.
Posted by lumi at 1:03 PM
April 11, 2007
Atlantic Yards Deathtrap!
When the joke is on Brooklyn, what's left to do but celebrate the ATLANTIC YARDS DEATHTRAP:
"With a building this UGLY and DEADLY, NO TERRORIST will be able to MISS BROOKLYN when PLANNING the ULTIMATE TERROR ATTACK!!"
The ATLANTIC YARDS DEATHTRAP comes complete with MILLIONS OF GLASS SHARDS!!!
Just ADD PUBLIC MONEY & WATCH IT GROW!!!!! [Assembly required.]
Posted by lumi at 7:04 AM
April 5, 2007
How Is a Park Slope Seder Different From All Other Seders?
Daily Intelligencer
For the second year, Rose Water in Park Slope held a seder with Leather Tomato's remix of the "Four Questions."
As printed in the handout Haggadah:
• Why is the Atlantic Yards project different from all other real-estate development projects?
• Why is it that this entire section of Brooklyn consists of unleavened low-rise buildings, but at Atlantic Yards Bruce Ratner wants to build seventeen high-rise buildings?
• Why is it that in all other projects the community would be happy for a real-estate developer to bring them "jobs, housing and hoops," but in this project some members of the community are bitter?
• Why is it that in all other projects the buildings stand straight, but in Frank Gehry's designs for the Atlantic Yards project, the buildings recline to one side? — to be read by the youngest real-estate developer at the Seder with the shortest hair.
Gawker, When Ratner was in Brooklyn Land...
"Insanity," another environmental impact of Bruce Ratner's Atlantic Yards plan:
We know this has been around a bit already, but we couldn't resist noting the anti-Bruce Ratner Passover Haggadah ("for an Atlantic Yardseder") that's been circulating for the last few days. Because, hey, if this doesn't say, "Oh no, we're totally not a bunch of barely sane kvetchers," we don't know what does.
Posted by lumi at 8:34 AM
March 20, 2007
March Radness: Is Round 1 Over Yet?
East Village Idiot
Fill in your brackets folks — footprint property owner Henry Weinstein isn't the only one to recently score an upset against Bruce Ratner's Atlantic Yards plan:
Lots of close matches and upsets yesterday. I guess people get frustrated with the status quo on Mondays. The power went to the people, as Develop Don’t Destroy Brooklyn out-protested Atlantic Yards. An influx of voters from a certain non-profit organization’s website seemed to help.
The score:
(3) Atlantic Yards 28 (14) Develop Don’t Destroy Brooklyn 72
Posted by lumi at 9:19 PM
March 18, 2007
Sunday Comix
Posted by amy at 9:58 AM
March 16, 2007
International Speedway Corporation Launches Park Slope Bid
Learning from Staten Island, NASCAR Plans Central Brooklyn Circuit;
Cars would race down 7th Avenue to Prospect Avenue, then back up 6th Avenue to Flatbush, and back to 7th
NoLandGrab disclaimer: This just showed up this morning in our In Box. Any resemblance to the real International Speedway Corporation is purely coincidental. Any resemblance to public officials... well, you decide.
BROOKLYN– Executives of the International Speedway Corporation announced a major new initiative today, aimed at bringing the thrill of NASCAR-style racing to one of the country’s most demographically desirable markets: Park Slope, Brooklyn.
After an attempt to bring family-friendly Motorsports Entertainment™ to Staten Island, where ungrateful residents, and their short-sighted representatives in the New York City Council, gave a flat tire to plans for an 80,000-seat racetrack and “lifestyle venue,” ISC decided to take its effort to the streets – literally.
“We learned from our missteps with Staten Island,” said ISC CEO Joe King. “Our mistake was in trying to build a huge new track – communities are often resistant to large-scale construction. In Park Slope, we’re proposing to use existing streets for racing. With the help of New York City’s Department of Transportation, we look forward to establishing optimal racing conditions.”
“We’re excited about helping to bring high-speed racing to this underserved part of the borough,” said Iris Weinshall, outgoing NYC DOT Commissioner. “With the proper signal timings, drivers should be able to hit speeds of 60 or 70 miles per hour on the straightaways.” Ms. Weinshall added that the large population of small children, dogs and moms with strollers would add an “exciting, reality-type aspect” to the racing. “I think of it as my parting gift to the neighborhood,” she said.
ISC initially explored establishing their racing operation on Brooklyn’s Fourth Avenue. “But Deputy Mayor Dan Doctoroff quickly set us straight,” said King. “He told us that new luxury-condo buyers, who are a growing constituency on Fourth Avenue, aren’t typically big NASCAR fans. We checked our market research, and sure enough, he was right.” As a result, ISC decided to target the quieter local streets, instead.
In conjunction with the proposed “Atlantic Yards,” an enormous mixed-use development expected to feature huge high-rise buildings, a basketball arena and at least three Chuck E. Cheeses and six Starbucks, the ISC plan for an on-street speedway will bring true excitement to the area. “‘The culture of inertia’ won’t know what hit them when a three-ton Chevy Tahoe moving at 57 MPH blows by,” said Senator Charles Schumer, husband of the outgoing DOT Commissioner.
ISC CEO King was certain that the ugly behavior of union members – one physically assaulted a Councilmember during a public hearing on Staten Island – would not be repeated in Park Slope. “De Blasio’s too big, anyway” said King.
Commissioner Weinshall’s enthusiasm for the plan was clear. “We’re going to nominate ISC’s proposal for one of our innovation awards,” the Commissioner said. “We call them the DOTties. This is unquestionably a DOTty idea.”
International Speedway Corporation is a leading promoter of motorsports activities, currently promoting more than 100 racing events annually as well as numerous other motorsports-related activities. The Company owns and/or operates 13 of the nation's major motorsports entertainment facilities, including Daytona International Speedway in Florida, home of the Daytona 500.
Posted by lumi at 1:09 PM
March 12, 2007
Ka-ching! Barclays Bank(?) seeking to give NLG $6.2 million!
Could this be the reparations everyone is seeking from the bank with alleged ties to some of recent history's most shameful institutions? [Gotcha! We're talking about Forest City Ratner and the Empire State Development Corporation.]
Maybe the British bank is hoping to silence NoLandGrab with an early retirement plan. Or, might this be the windfall that we deserve for a job well done?
This just landed in the ole NLG mailbox:
Barclays Bank PLC
International Banking Centre
38 Hans Crescent, Knightsbridge
London SW1X 0LZ-United Kingdom
http://www.barclays.co.ukSir/Madam,
RE:INSTRUCTION TO CREDIT YOUR ACCOUNT WITH THE SUM OF US$6,200,000.00
We at this bank wishes to congratulate and inform you that after thorough review and evaluation of your Inheritance/Contract funds in conjunction with the World Bank Auditor General and the International Monetary Fund (IMF) assessment report, your payment file was forwarded to us for immediate transfer of the above quoted amount to your designated bank account from their offshore account with us.
The reports given to us shows that you have been going through hard times by paying a lot of money to see to the release of your funds, which has been delayed by some dubious officials.
We therefore advice that you stop further communication with any correspondence outside this office since you do not have to pay any money or fee to receive your Inheritance/Contract funds as you have met up with the whole funds transfer requirements.
The only thing required from you is to obtain the Non-Residential Clearance Form to enable us credit your account directly by telegraphic transfer or through any of our corresponding banks and send copies of the funds transfer release documents to you and your bankers for confirmation.
Should you follow our directives, your funds will be credited and reflect in your account within five (5) bank working days from the day you obtain this Non-Residential Clearance Form.
For further details and assistance on this Remittance Notification, kindly forward your FULL CONTACT ADDRESS, TELEPHONE and FAX NUMBERS directly to my Private E-mail: suzannenorman@aggies.com
Yours sincerely,
Mrs. Suzanne Norman Head, International Banking Division. Barclays Bank Plc, UK
Posted by lumi at 8:16 AM
March 11, 2007
Sunday Comix
Posted by amy at 12:38 PM
March 4, 2007
Sunday Comix
Clues on the role and whereabouts of Hunley-Adossa might be found in Atlantic Yards Report's August, 2006 article on Brooklyn Endeavor Experience (BEE!).
Posted by amy at 4:41 PM
February 25, 2007
Sunday Comix
Malcolm Armstrong
Posted by amy at 11:59 AM
February 22, 2007
Community Liason
The NoLandGrab Community Liason took this photo of the outside of the "Atlantic Yards Community Liason" office, which has a curious political statement above the buzzer.
Posted by lumi at 6:34 AM
February 18, 2007
Desktop Day: Creature from Atlantic Yards
Brit In Brooklyn immortalizes dirty snow in this hagiographic desktop wallpaper.
Born of carbonic acid and toxic waste, this mutated slush puppy will fit on a 1024-by-768 monitor.
Posted by amy at 9:25 AM
February 11, 2007
Brooklyn Love and Preservation Stuff
Andrew J Lederer mourns the loss of Roll-n-Roaster, but puts it into perspective:
Roll-n-Roaster is charming and has good food but it will not be a tragedy of the highest order to see it go.I would gladly have traded it for the protection of that mid-19th century dry dock in Red Hook that's to be supplanted by an Ikea.
And let's scale back that Ratner/Gehry project in Prospect Heights.
And develop Coney Island in way that respects its glorious history.
For those things, I can give up a Roll-n-Roaster san-a-wich.
Posted by amy at 1:10 PM
February 4, 2007
All Drawn Out
The Brooklyn Paper
Posted by amy at 12:15 PM
January 29, 2007
MASHUP: More Money Than Brains?
Today's Brownstoner post about a curious flyer that has recently been showing up on front stoops inspired a parody, sent to us by someone with too much time on their hands and who may or may not be feeling some heat from some guy named "Bruce."
Posted by lumi at 8:07 PM
January 26, 2007
Barclay chief's gaffe recalls Ratner howler
They call it 'doing a Ratner' - in memory of the famous gaffe committed by Gerald Ratner back in 1991, when he admitted selling "crap" in his High Street shops.
BBC News Online
By Bill Wilson
Now the boss of the UK's largest credit card company has done it in such a spectacular fashion that it left business observers open-mouthed.
Barclays chief executive Matt Barrett candidly criticised his own product, suggesting that the astute consumer would do well to steer well clear of it.
Posted by lumi at 11:07 AM
January 21, 2007
Sunday Comix
An intrepid reader sends this cartoon along...suggesting Barclay's might have missed out on a cheaper deal?
Posted by amy at 12:50 PM
December 25, 2006
We Three Men of Albany Are
We three men of Albany are
Bearing gifts we traverse afar
Buildings rise, subsidies and lies
Following yonder star
Born a King on Cleveland’s shore
Goldstein’s home and many more
Bruce forever, ceasing never
Your money we adore
Chorus:
Oh…
Oh Bruce Ratner, prince of night
Scar on Brooklyn’s beauty bright
Downward leading, ever-greeding
Traffic will be a fright
Frank Gehry will blot out the sky
Bear’s Garden, reflections will fry
Pray'r and praising, temp’ratures raising
Our fealty your money will buy
Myrrh-iad of subsidies bloom
Public process Ratner will doom
Oder tried, request was denied
Thanks to three men in a room
Glorious now behold the highrise
Brownstone Brooklyn sure will despise
Alleluia, Alleluia
Built upon deceit and lies
Posted by lumi at 8:47 AM
December 24, 2006
Sunday Comix
A lighting-fast public comment period,
ignoring the concerns of existing residents,
using eminent domain for Bruce Ratner,
repeated refusal to disclose financial information,
for a project of historical proportions,
how did the "Three Men in a Room" in Albany let this happen?
Hey, hey we're the Monkeys...
Posted by lumi at 9:20 AM
December 21, 2006
Thursday Comix
Posted by lumi at 9:59 AM
December 20, 2006
Silver Bails
Dope on the Slope has the jump on the latest Ratner carol:
Silver bails, Silver bails
It's rip-off time in the city
ching-ka-ching, feel it sting
Oversight is so passé
Click here for the rest.
Posted by lumi at 7:48 PM
December 10, 2006
The Little Boondoggle is Growing Up Fast!
Happy Bruce Day to You!
It looks like a boondoggle,
and it smells like one too!
How old are you now?
Posted by amy at 1:36 PM
December 8, 2006
Silent Night/Blighted Heights
Kudos to the only group in the universe that makes "Silent Night" sound like a drinking song!
And speaking about drinking, drop by Freddy's, the footprint watering hole, for a pint of good cheer (ABBL, anything but Brooklyn Lager)!
Posted by lumi at 9:00 AM
December 7, 2006
Twelve Days of Christmas - Bruce Ratner Christmas Carol
On the third day of Christmas, Bruce Ratner took from me:
THREE neighborhoods,
TWO thoroughfares, and
An apartment for my family.
Posted by lumi at 8:22 AM
December 6, 2006
Winter Wonderland Ratner Christmas Carol
Today's carol features a cameo by the Mayor and a kick-ass recorder solo by the multi-talented Chris Owens, though you may still need your earplugs!
Posted by lumi at 9:03 AM
December 5, 2006
Prospect Heights Action Carolers
What they lack in intonation and rhythm, they make up for in volume and snazzy lyrics.
Deck the hood with Ratner greenbacks, Ba-ba-ba-ba-baa Back-room Deal!
Posted by lumi at 8:20 AM
December 3, 2006
Let Ratner Rule!
Prospect Heights Action Carolers song of the day featuring Chris Owens! Here are some excerpted lyrics:
ESDC your messiness is troubling,
Atlantic Yards deserves careful review.
FEIS has everybody crying
We can't believe that you won't tell the truth!
No adequate assessment of the problems,
Police and fire and schools and sewage drains.
Let Ratner Rule! Is all we hear in your voices.
But we will not yield, we resist, we stand our ground.
Posted by amy at 5:28 PM
November 26, 2006
The Afternoon Wrap: Friday
The Real Estate
Brownstoner asked: "What if you were a wealthy philanthropost [sic] who could write a $100 million check to fund any infrastructure or public project in Brooklyn?" In chronological order, his readers dreamed up: trolley cars, bike lanes, a high school, a complete transportation system for northeastern Brooklyn, a complete transportation system for southeastern Brooklyn, a large parking lot, Ratner's exile, pre-schools, etc. We say: More high-end pre-schools! And trolleys! [Brownstoner]
Posted by amy at 7:22 PM
November 5, 2006
Sunday Comix: Marathon Edition
Posted by amy at 3:34 PM
November 4, 2006
A humbling encounter with a (civilian) reader
Atlantic Yards Report
I assume that most readers of this blog have a keen interest in the Atlantic Yards project, whether they be concerned local residents, government or organizational officials, people who work with the developer, or the press.But earlier this week, at a bank in Park Slope, I encountered someone far less invested. She told me she'd noticed my op-ed in the print edition of Monday's Metro, which was accompanied by my photo.
Me What did you think?
She: Well, I didn't finish it.
Me: It was only 500 words.
She: I'm not much of a reader.
The lesson, as a reader reminds me: very few people, even Brooklynites, have an informed opinion of the Atlantic Yards project.
link
AYR should have pointed her to NoLandGrab - Atlantic Yards news for the ADD set...
Posted by amy at 12:04 PM
October 8, 2006
Sunday Comix
We stumbled across this oldie, earlier this week, while searching for an image of the Chairman.
Check out more of illustrator and political cartoonist Mark Wilson's work at www.empirewire.com.
Posted by lumi at 8:42 AM
September 23, 2006
Six-to-Eight Percent Solutions
Sunday funnies came a little bit early this week due to the class clowns over at the New York Times. Mr. McCall makes a mockery of the idea of a 6-8% scaleback argument, but he could have used an example a little closer to home:.
The New York Times is planning to reduce the size of the newspaper, making it narrower by one and a half inches, and to close its printing operation in Edison, N.J., company officials said yesterday.
cartoon page
Don't forget to tell the New York Times what you think of their sense of humor. Write from the heart, and then scale back 6-8% of the vitriol.
Or, if your interpretation of the cartoon is still up in the air, take part in the Brooklynian poll.
Posted by amy at 7:21 PM
September 12, 2006
Fat Cat Ratner says, "Vote Early and Often"
Since there's not much Atlantic Yards action on primary election day, we offer you this Dr. Seuss remix.
Posted by lumi at 7:59 AM
August 22, 2006
Brooklyn's Captain Marvel
The 57th AD race just got real interesting.
The Politicker is reporting that 57th AD candidate Billy Batson is in fact Captain Marvel.
So it's the NY Times endorsement versus a super hero. Now that's a race.
Posted by lumi at 11:18 AM
August 20, 2006
Sunday Comix from the Brooklyn Papers
Posted by amy at 10:20 AM
August 19, 2006
Marty Gets Schooled
The Real Estate is ROTFL over Dope on the Slope:
Dope on the Slope, how we love ye! After the jump, check out Mr./Ms. Dope's Brooklyn Borough Cheerleader Marty Markowitz takedown. Clever, witty and to the point.
Posted by amy at 11:48 AM
Looking at the Look Book
Gawker:
We've no proof of this, but we bet Jarvis Wong, featured in this week's installment of New York mag's Look Book, lives in Brooklyn. The belt, the glasses, the iPod -- just a hunch. He's an architect who considers himself an "urban nerd" and likes to dress as as minimal as he designs his buildings. Or something.
...
Being an architect and all, what are Jarvis's thoughts on the Brooklyn Ratner project?He's psyched because then he wouldn't have to go all the way to East Rutherford to see Coldplay.
...
Given that Jarvis doesn't really "do Brooklyn" these days, he still finds the whole thing a quite engaging topic of conversation during his bi-monthy petit degustation loft parties. Though he likes to pander to the Develop Don't Destroy coalition (his spectacles hookup works with Safran Foer and Lethem; can't burn that bridge), he secretly loves the idea of ginormous, hulking buildings juxtaposed with cobblestone hood-ness. It's so crossimilated!
...
Well, Jarvis submitted his own proposal for that same piece of land but it was rejected. Honestly, I'm sort of excited to live near a new basketball stadium, but I'd much rather've lived next to a life-size replica of the Ancient Klingon City, Glaarg.
Posted by amy at 11:34 AM
August 18, 2006
Subject: Edits to BUILD Flyer
Date: Fri, 17 Aug 2005 02:38:46
From: NoLandGrabby
Subject: edits to BUILD flyer
To: info@buildbrooklyn.org
CC: bruce@fcrc.com, jim@fcrc.com, askmarty@brooklynbp.org, mbloomberg@cityhall.nyc.gov
Attachment: See below
X-JunkMail: NotJunk
hey there.
thanks for the flyer - the pics of jay-z and the nj nets in action are mad cool and are hanging up in my locker next to beyonce and my autographed portrait of marty markowitz.
i don't mean to by pushy, but (imho) i think you guys may have forgotten a few things on the flyer, so i made some edits/corrections (see below).
[btw: the esdc web site sez the hearing is @4:30, but you probably know best.]
ttyl :)
Posted by lumi at 9:01 AM
August 15, 2006
Shrill Of The Week: Weeds
Last week Dope on the Slope fully embraced his inner-shrill. This week he rhapsodizes about "weeds" and wildflowers and wonders what Marty has been smokin'.
Posted by lumi at 11:11 AM
August 10, 2006
Shrilljoy
Dope on the Slope has a confession:
I'm shrill.
Some of my best friends are shrill.
As the tastemakers and trendspotters might say, "shrill is the new black," and I'm proud to be on the cutting edge.
Read the riotously funny and "shrill" op-ed from Dope that will have you reaching for a kielbasa!
Posted by lumi at 10:49 PM
BRUCE JOINS BANDWAGON, CALLS FOR MORE TIME FOR PUBLIC REVIEW
STUCKEY SAYS, "DOH!"
The Daily Snooze
By Joe King
NEW YORK, NY — Developer Bruce Ratner stunned Atlantic Yards supporters and critics alike when he held a press conference yesterday on the steps of City Hall, calling on the Empire State Development Corporation to allow for more time for the public to review of the Atlantic Yards Draft Environmental Impact Statement.
The do-gooding liberal developer stated, "Fair is fair. We've had over two years to produce two-thousand pages explaining why Brooklynites will barely even notice that Atlantic Yards is there. The public needs more than two months to read the sucker and figure out we're right."
When reached for comment Forest City Ratner Atlantic Yards Development Group President James P. Stuckey replied, "Doh!"
Ratner attributed his flip-flop to concerns from project supporters, "Rog and Spitz (Assemblymember Green and Attorney General Spitz) told me that the current schedule of hearings was political suicide and that any progressive power-to-the-people mega-millionaire would give the shrill vitriolic liberal white anti-everything NIMBYs a chance to read the fine print."
Speaking at the press conference Rev. Darius N. Sundry, mentioned that "Ratner was sent by God." When asked to elaborate, Sundry added, "Jobs, Housing and — what's that third thing? Hoops? — yeah, Hoops!"
This announcement took Atlantic Yards Reporter Norman "the Mad Overkiller" Oder off guard. Uncharacteristically, he had nothing to say but explained that he would be posting "a 5337-word analysis of the recent development by first light."
Project critic and Develop Don't Destroy Brooklyn spokesperson Daniel Goldstein was scheduled to hold his own press conference, but was detained when he was stuck in an elevator for four hours.
Only Brooklyn Borough President and Cheerleader in Chief Marty Markowtiz remains as the sole supporter of the current review schedule. Markowitz has publicly stated (this is no joke folks!), "Extending the public-comment period to 66 days — more than double the required 30 for a DEIS — and holding two open public sessions, including one in September, instead of the required one, represents a fair attempt by ESDC to address the concerns of some in the community regarding a summer hearing."
Rumors that Markowitz will not be testifying at the August 23rd hearing, due to a previously scheduled family vacation, have not been confirmed or denied by the Beep's office.
Forest City Ratner spokesperson Joseph deCobbleHill was not available for comment at press time.
Posted by lumi at 6:02 AM
June 25, 2006
Turf wars
Gumby Fresh responds to Community Average Folk 101's 10 question regarding "WHO WOULD NOT WANT ECONOMIC DEVELOPMENT AND AFFORDABLE HOUSING FOR COMMUNITY RESIDENTS WHO ARE IN NEED?"
1. Should average "regular" community folks opinions count?
Of course, we shouldn't let the extremely high-priced PR professionals employed by Forest City Ratner dominate discussion of the project.
2. How does one determine whose opinion(s) are more urgent and/or significant than others?
I think the groups that raise the greatest sums from the developer probably have the most valid opinions.
3. What makes folk think that they have all the answers?
That's a zen, right? Oh no, it's not, is it? It's the first recorded use of a Markowitzism
4. How do you feel about the Atlantic Yards Project (AYP)?
Like "The Warriors", it makes me nostalgic for the 70s, when such stupidity was cutting edge. Quite often I've lain awake at night and wondered "what if all of Brooklyn looked like Metro Tech?"
Posted by amy at 6:00 PM
June 20, 2006
PRESS RELEASE: The Atomic Grind Show Opposes Atlantic Yards
Local Band Joins the Fight Against Bruce Ratner's "Atlantic Yards”
Brooklyn, NY – The Atomic Grind Show, the carnival rock band that entrances audiences in backrooms, speakeasys and circuses throughout Gotham, announced today its opposition to the proposed Atlantic Yards development project in Prospect Heights, Brooklyn.
The members of The Atomic Grind Show, who all live in Brooklyn, strongly believe that they had to immediately make a public statement against a taxpayer boondoggle, super-sized development and the questionable use of eminent domain. “I was feeling political when I woke up this morning,” said dynamic male vocalist Joel Garland, “so I said to myself, ‘hey, let’s oppose Atlantic Yards’. Everyone's doing it.” Organist and emcee Shane Rettig quickly added, “This is not some cheap publicity stunt, either.”
“Putting an arena and sixteen skyscrapers at one of the busiest intersections in the city will mean even more time spent in the van on the way to a gig and even less time spent at the bar before the show. That's totally unacceptable,” said bassist Geoff Zink.
Observing how much momentum a musical talent can bring to a community-based cause with Dan Zanes’ recent Develop Don’t Destroy family benefit concert, the members of the Atomic Grind Show felt they needed to do the same. At their April 20, 2006 CD release party, The Atomic Grind Show debuted a composition entitled “The Rat King” to the attending crowd's delight.
"It’s funny because we didn't even have Bruce Ratner in mind when we wrote the song, but we later realized that the song described someone just like him" drummer Matt Moore explained. “It's a total coincidence,” exclaimed saxophonist Christian Parkess. “Life's kooky sometimes, isn't it?”
The live recording of “The Rat King” is available on The Atomic Grind Show's web site. Go to www.atomicgrindshow.com/Music.htm to listen.
Posted by lumi at 8:22 AM
June 18, 2006
BABES OF B'KLYN
New York Post
A bevy of Brooklyn beauties is heating up a pinup calendar touting the borough."Each month features a girl-next-door photographed at a traditional site in her specific Brooklyn neighborhood," said Windsor Terrace native and Brooklyn College junior Jennifer Baker, 21, one of the three Catholic-schooled founders of Brooklyn Calendar Girls LP.
How could anyone have overlooked such an obvious choice for centerfold?
Posted by amy at 11:27 AM
Doughnut Blog
This Sunday morning you might want to enjoy a different kind of Doughnut. This Doughnut is British and does not seem to like FCR's plans. The blog has a number of fun Atlantic Yards proposal stories, including "Rumble in the Rubble: Atlantic Yards Celebrity Deathmatch"
Who's sexier whilst pensive?
You might also want to pay a visit to a familar looking Delta City...
Posted by amy at 10:44 AM
June 15, 2006
Marty on the "take out"
Has Marty broken his pledge to "lighten up Brooklyn?" Regretfully, we share the photographic evidence that the Borough President may be on the "take out."
Posted by lumi at 6:45 AM
May 28, 2006
Sunday Comic: Coming to a theater near you
Posted by lumi at 6:35 AM
May 26, 2006
nolandgrab.COM is for sale for $1,630
A regular reader pointed out that NOLANDGRAB.COM is for sale for a cool $1,630. Since we are an "org-y" kind of group, we'll probably pass.
But for the opposition to fair development in Brooklyn these domain names are still available:
yeslandgrab.com
landgrab.com
morelandgrab.com
atlanticlandgrab.com
aslongasitsnotmylandgrab.com
Posted by lumi at 9:32 AM
May 8, 2006
Monday Comix: TARGET MARKETING?
We can still hear the tittering coming from Bruce Ratner's offices in Downtown Brooklyn. Today's joke is on Dan Goldstein, spokesperson for Develop Don't Destroy Brooklyn.
While Dan sits around waiting for an eminent domain eviction notice, he can peruse his own personal copy of the glossy four-color 12-page brochure promoting the project that seeks to kick him out of his Pacific Street residence.
Included in the info-sational brochure is a mail-in card, on which Dan can check off all the things he likes about the project. Or, he could just tape the card to a brick and drop it off at the post office, since Ratner is responsible for all postage costs.
Posted by lumi at 7:36 AM
April 30, 2006
On My Command Unleash Ribs
Gumby Fresh challenges Ratner to a media garnering street fight:
And finally, proof that possibly Brooklynites have been much too restrained at public hearings on the Atlantic Yards project. Nascar has been trying to build a course on Staten Island for a few months now, and has even purchased some land for the purpose. I had thought that maybe they deserved each other, and had not paid too much attention to the subject.My bad. A recent hearing on the subject erupted into a riot - scuffles, cops, unseemly rhetoric, the lot. Now, we always knew that Staten Islanders were not that well-schooled in the finer points of discourse (Exhibit A: Fossella, Vito), but this was a marvelous display of lunkheadedness from the New Jersey annex. But, the whole thing did dominate the news cycle in a way that the earnest meetings on the Atlantic Yards often fail to do. So I am officially challenging Bruce Ratner to a fight. The parking lot of the Vanderbilt McDonalds. Whenever
Posted by amy at 10:17 AM
April 16, 2006
Sunday Comic
Posted by lumi at 10:30 AM
April 13, 2006
A Ratner Haggadah
The Brooklyn Papers
Several objectors to Bruce Ratner’s mega-development penned an anti-Ratner parody of the Jewish Haggadah and used it at Seders this week.
In this “Very Brooklyn Haggadah,” the four questions ["To be sung by the youngest real estate developer at the seder."] don’t include, “Why is this night different from all other nights?” but, rather, “Why is it that in all other projects, buildings stand straight, but in Frank Gehry’s designs, the buildings recline to one side?”
There’s also a raucous, Ratner-ripping version of the classic Passover song, “Dayeinu” — which means “enough.” (For the full Haggadah, see www.leathertomato.com.)
NoLandGrab: Happy Passover. And, don't forget to send your own contributions to the Atlantic Yardseder to passover(at)leathertomato.com.
Posted by lumi at 8:02 AM
April 8, 2006
A Brooklyn Passover Haggadah
The Four Questions
(About Bruce Ratner's Atlantic Yards Project)
To be sung by the youngest real estate developer at the sederWhy is the Atlantic Yards project different from all other real estate development projects?
Question 1:
Why is it that Brownstone Brooklyn consists of unleavened low-rise buildings, but at Atlantic Yards Bruce Ratner wants to build seventeen high-rise buildings?
Question 2:
Why is it that in all other projects the community would be happy for a real estate developer to bring them "jobs, housing and hoops," but in this project the community is so extraordinarily bitter?
Question 3:
Why is it that in all other projects, the developer dips only into his own budget, but in the Atlantic Yards project the developer dips twice - $100 million from the state's budget and $100 million from the city's budget?
Question 4:
Why is it that in all other projects, the buildings stand straight, but in Frank Gehry's designs for the Atlantic Yards project, the buildings recline to one side?
Don't miss the additional Passover ideas here!
Posted by amy at 9:13 AM
February 26, 2006
Sunday Comix
Posted by amy at 12:36 PM
February 19, 2006
Sunday Comix 2
Posted by amy at 12:30 PM
Sunday Comix
For the full clickable image, visit Develop Don't Destroy.
Posted by amy at 12:25 PM
February 13, 2006
Keep on pushin'
According to Bruce Ratner push polling pays. Why else would he turn again to this telemarketing tool, perfected in the hardball world of political campaigning?
For some, push polling is plain irritating. For others it's the perfect opportunity to educate Canadians on the pronunciation of last names of some of our elected officials.
This warning about Bruce Ratner's latest hearts-and-minds campaign was posted on Sunday to a local listserve by a Clinton Hill resident who was contacted around 10 am:
Listmembers might be interested to know that Ratner is sponsoring a push-poll for Brooklynites that's focused on the stadium issue.
I got a phone call this morning putatively asking my opinion about the development of Atlantic Yards, but clearly offering "information" that would convince me that this development was the best thing for Brooklyn since the Bridge (e.g. "Were you aware that the development will bring x many new jobs to Brooklyn? Does that change you opinion" etc., etc.).
The firm they were using had people calling from Quebec -- I asked the woman who was surveying me where she was, having been tipped off by her inability to pronounce "borough," "Pataki," and "Markowitz."
These kind of dirty tricks are pretty typical of political campaigns, particularly on the ideological right. Not much we can do about it, but it's clear that Ratner's nervous about the future of the Atlantic Yards project, and this is another attempt on his part to win hearts and minds.
NoLandGrab: What part of "Jobs, Housing and Hoops" includes outsourcing jobs to Canada?
Posted by lumi at 11:20 AM
Eminent domainia! Cheney vic, battling ed abuse
This comment about VP Cheney's shooting victim from The Wall Street Journal Law Blog:
[Harry Whittington, Esq.] is an Austin, Texas, lawyer currently fighting a battle against his hometown, which has attempted to condemn a downtown block he and his family own to build a parking garage. That’s right, according to the Austin American-Statesmen, Cheney’s hunting buddy is one of the crusaders battling against the Supreme Court’s controversial Kelo decision, in which the Court allowed private eminent domain “takings” for economic development purposes.
Justice Scalia, Cheney’s other hunting buddy and a dissenter in Kelo, would be proud.
Posted by lumi at 10:58 AM
January 13, 2006
Marty Markowitz — scaled down
Not that this has anything to do with Atlantic Yards, but we couldn't help noticing that Marty Markowitz's portrait posted on the Borough President's website has been "scaled down," or more specifically, the "Floor Area Ratio" has been decreased, in an effort to "Lighten Up Brooklyn."
We offer this comparison between the image from the BP's website and the same pic posted on Gothamist in April, 2005.
Posted by lumi at 8:28 AM
January 8, 2006
Sunday Comics
From an alert reader:
http://whereandy.com/pdfs/32999.0800751.pdf
Make your own here - and don't forget to send a copy to start@nolandgrab.org
http://www.whereandy.com/subway.html
(via DailyHeights)
Posted by amy at 10:44 AM
December 31, 2005
GUNMAN AFAR
What ____________ movement is complete without A GROSS SORT of puzzle? (Hint: fill in the blank with an anagram of the bolded phrase.)
Want more ANAGRAM FUN? Surf on over to Dope on the Slope for some clever sidesplitting good times.
Note: If you get all the answers right, you have been paying attention in class this year.
Posted by lumi at 9:01 AM
December 21, 2005
BUILD's funding revealed in member poll
Source: BUILD Message Board
Brooklyn United for Innovative Local Development (BUILD) is posting real-time membership polling results on the topic that has been on everyone's mind during the past year, "Where Does Build Get It's Funding?"
 |
Currently it's a dead heat between the Father of Coney Island and the Easter Bunny, both of whom probably have higher approval ratings than Bruce Ratner.
Posted by lumi at 8:28 AM
December 18, 2005
Sunday Comics Part Deux
From the Brooklyn Papers
Click here to enlarge image.
Posted by amy at 7:49 PM
Sunday Comics
Posted by amy at 10:36 AM
December 11, 2005
Sunday Comic
Posted by amy at 10:46 AM
December 3, 2005
Cartoon of the Day
Posted by amy at 11:49 AM
November 27, 2005
Shooting From the Lip
Mike Lupica of the Daily News is making is list, checking it twice etc...
I am compiling a list of those neighborhood leaders in Brooklyn who have profited the most from the generosity of Caring Bruce Ratner, and will be putting that list in the paper soon.You know, like we do with lottery winners.
Posted by amy at 10:54 AM
November 20, 2005
Sunday Comics
From the funny pages:
Posted by lumi at 7:41 AM
October 31, 2005
Happy Halloween: Rat In Peace
From a Clinton Hill haunted house featured in Brownstoner.
Posted by lumi at 9:27 PM
October 6, 2005
It's a Ratner, Ratner World!
CowPunch
 |
Posted by lumi at 12:04 AM
September 6, 2005
ONE MILLION DOLLARS (BWA-HA, HA, HA, HA, HA)
The Independent Budget Office (IBO) predicts a potential upside of for NYC of ONE M-I-L-L-ION DOLLARS a year for the Atlantic Yards project. That's what $100 MILLION DOLLARS will buy New Yorkers.
And get this — the report predicts a net financial gain by banking that NEW JERSEY Nets fans will cross the border to spend millions of dollars in Brooklyn instead of Jersey.
The IBO report also falls short by not examining the costs associated with traffic and additional city services such as police, fire, sanitation and schools.
Brooklynites have been subjected to enough irony and comedy since this project was annouced nearly two years ago. What taxpayers needed from the IBO report was clarity, not fantasy predictions and obfuscation.
Nevertheless, based upon the assumptions of the IBO report, taxpayers have to wonder if even modest benefits outweigh the need to force people out of their homes.
Posted by lumi at 7:02 PM
September 2, 2005
...and speaking of "strange bedfellows," does Ratner know when he's been licked?
Posted by lumi at 9:25 AM
August 5, 2005
Foreign Policy? Just Get Tips From the Cabby
The NY Times
By Clyde Haberman
Haberman rattles off some suggestions of how the newly appointed US Ambassador to the UN, John Bolton, might get acquainted with the island natives:
Don't just hang out in diplo-land, [Clinton's UN ambassador Bill Richardson] advised Mr. Bolton. "You have to engage the city," he said.
In that spirit, we'd like to offer Mr. Bolton some tips on possible places to visit and people to meet.
For instance, he might want to get together with the developer Bruce C. Ratner and also with critics of Mr. Ratner's plan to build a sports arena in Downtown Brooklyn alongside skyscrapers that may rise 60 stories.
Mr. Bolton could advise them on acceptable heights for buildings. He knows a thing or two on that score. It was he who once said of the United Nations: "The Secretariat building has 38 stories. If you lost 10 stories today " - and here he sliced the air with his hand to show how to do it - "it wouldn't make a bit of difference." The man is a born urban planner.
NoLandGrab: Never one to leave a stone unturned, Ratner has probably already lined up Bolton's political support.
Posted by lumi at 10:00 AM
July 8, 2005
Dope vs. Gehry: Smackdown!!!
The Dope on the Slope
Dopey Slopey is insulted by the comparisons made between his parody post in April on Atlantic Yards and Gehry's sketchy architectural sketch.
It's a jump ball -- DOPE wants his day in court of public opinion! Check it out and you decide.
Commentators get extra points for using common architectural terms like "horizontal thrust," "billowing clouds," and "invisible pressure," and for writing in iambic pentameter.
Posted by lumi at 6:49 AM
July 6, 2005
Dope on the Slope: Mmmmmmmm, Instant Skyline
Dope on the Slope has published the secret recipe for Instant Skyline, breakfast of world-class architects, developers and their political lackeys. Dig in!
Serving Suggestion: Garnish with homemade PR blurbs in the NY Times and willfully ignorant politicians. For extra nuttiness, you may wish to add of dollop of ACORN butter.
The real question is...
who ordered this dish?
Posted by lumi at 6:53 AM
June 10, 2005
Atlantic Yards Project Reaches First Base
Curbed.com
So just how did the Association of Community Organizations for Reform Now (ACORN) get put in charge of processing the applications for the affordable housing units that are part of Bruce Ratner's Atlantic Yards development plan?
Posted by lumi at 12:25 PM
April 30, 2005
Land Store
By M. Fullilove
Background: Columbia University paid $300,000 to the Empire State Development Corp to begin a "blight" investigation.
Posted by lumi at 5:03 PM
April 29, 2005
EXCLUSIVE: Ratner's Revised Plan for AY Revealed!
Dope on the Slope
A batallion of Ratner PR reps unleash the revised plan for Atlantic Yards. Dubbed, "Brooklyn Will Always Have A Heart, A Home, And Hoops Aplenty" or BWAHAHAHAHA, the new plan features many cutting-edge and innovative new features such as a radium-illumitated clock tower, escalator tubes, Hot-Rod museum and more...
Posted by lumi at 8:56 AM
March 21, 2005
Blast from the Past
Familiar issues and faces abound as Ratner's completes his crossing to the darkside. James Stuckey still works for the city and Donna Hennes is not yet being quoted about how "fairly" she was treated by FCR.
Dare we imagine a world where: * DDDb's Dan Goldstein accepts a HUGE buyout and becomes a corporate shill? * Marty smiles for the camera during his "perp walk?" * Community Consulting's Brian Ketcham heads the DOT, fighting off desperately needed change? * Fans For Play's Scott Turner is an executive in the Nets' front office? * PICCED's Brad Lander becomes the new Jim Stuckey? * Fort Greene Association's Lucy Koteen is elected Borough President in a landslide victory over her opponent, Bruce Bender?
Posted by lumi at 10:11 AM
March 13, 2005
Prickly City
By Scott Stantis
www.ucomics.com
NoLandGrab: Folks down south and out west have told us that Brooklynites need an ENDANGERED SPECIES in Prospect Heights to put the brakes on Ratner's megalopolis. Alas, the only thing endangered here is "justice."
Posted by lumi at 8:45 AM
March 12, 2005
Prickly City
by Scott Stantis
www.ucomics.com
Posted by lumi at 9:47 AM
March 11, 2005
Prickly City
by Scott Stantis
www.ucomics.com
Posted by lumi at 7:05 AM
March 10, 2005
Prickly City
By Scott Stantis
www.ucomics.com
Posted by lumi at 7:15 AM
March 9, 2005
Prickly City
By Scott Stantis
www.ucomics.com
Posted by lumi at 6:38 AM
March 2, 2005
Neighborhood Activist as Sex Symbol
Curbed.com: While we werer musing about whether Leo or Brad would play Dan Goldstein in the movie about the arena fight, others were dreaming about the real thing.
[Dan Goldstein's] determination has made [him]an unlikely sex symbol for preservationists, and at least one female Curbed reader, who emails, "He's our dreamboat spokesperson. Maybe I want him for myself. He's certainly got a nice apartment." Neighborhood activism—so hot!
Posted by lumi at 5:59 PM
February 26, 2005
Daily Heights: Exclusive Interview
The Daily Heights' exclusive interview with the elusive internet prankster and Olympic gadfly that created the NY20$12BILLION spoof campaign featured on www.2012landgrabs.net.
Get the low down on the power of Photoshop and advice on adhesives.
Posted by lumi at 7:06 AM
February 22, 2005
Opponents to Mayor's scheme unveil counter campaign
Opponents to Bloomberg's use of the Olympic bid to rush through approvals for controversial development projects have unveiled a counter campaign.
Posted by lumi at 12:03 PM
February 21, 2005
The Power of Targeted Advertising
DailyHeights.com uncovers Ratner-related merchandising.
What next, the Greedy Real Estate Developer action figure? (Click to enlarge image.) It comes with a Genuine Certified Eminent Domain Condemnation Notification Letter and Limited Edition Wrecking Ball.
Posted by lumi at 5:07 PM
February 8, 2005
Bloomberg threatens to take his ball and go home
The Daily Snooze:
Mayor Bloomberg, during yesterday's press conference, explained that if the Jets stadium deal is not approved, New York would not be awarded the 2012 Olympics and the #7 subway line would not be extended to the West Side. Hizzoner also claimed that the Cablevision proposal would lead to a "glut of housing" on the market. (We're not making this up folks.)
In response to a question about ongoing talks with the Jets, Bloomberg dropped a bombshell -- if the stadium isn't built, the NY Jets would move to New Jersey. Other repercussion may follow:
- the New York Stock Exchange will move to York, PA and to be renamed the "York Stock Exchange,"
- Staten Island moves to NJ,
- Lower Manhattan moves to NJ, and
- the fiscally challenged MTA would be forced to raise fares!
Posted by lumi at 8:52 PM
December 3, 2004
DECORATE DON'T DESTROY BROOKLYN, Press Release:
Forest City Ratner Executive VP Jim Stuckey Speaks for Over Two Hours, Says Nothing
BROOKLYN—Monday night at a Community Board organized “informational meeting”, Forest City Ratner (FCR) Executive Vice President Jim Stuckey, poster boy of the government/corporate revolving-door system, and point man for the FCR proposed 17 skyscraper and arena complex in Prospect Heights, spun a one-way PR lecture. The “information meeting” provided no information for the hundreds of citizens, community board members and politicians hungry fo