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May 16, 2012
NBA Mock Draft 2012: Our Dark Basketball Overlords
The Basketball Gods are not nearly as benevolent as you think. If they get their way, the NBA Draft will look a lot like this.
SBNation.com
by Tom Ziller
SBNation speculates about how the NBA draft could shape up if the cruel basketball gods have their way — or if David Stern & Co. rig the draft so the #1 pick goes to their brand-new Brooklyn franchise.
Think of The Basketball Gods as cruel pranksters, mischievous dalliers who seek to inflict pain on the unholy and maximize schadenfreude in the execution. (Basically, think of them as the actual Greek and Norse gods you learned about in middle school.) What tricks will they have in store for us in 2012? Let's make some predictions. Let's mock.
Note: this is not the actual draft order, only the most cruel but legitimately possible draft order according to my assessment.
1. BROOKLYN NETS: ANTHONY DAVIS
Why would The Basketball Gods give Brooklyn the No. 1 pick?
- The Basketball Gods have abandoned Portland, who gets this pick if it's not top three.
- Bruce Ratner leveraged this team to gentrify/destroy a neighborhood, basically. Mad black hat swag.
- Jay-Z not only has sway over young players, but holy spirits. Game recognize game.
- Mikhail Prokhorov. See Bullet No. 3.
Posted by eric at May 16, 2012 12:17 PM