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July 16, 2010
The Hezitorial: Yonkersites Likes it ‘Nice and Rough’
Yonkers Tribune
by Hezi Aris
The editor of the Yonkers Tribune imagines a future in which reverse-Robin Hood Bruce Ratner cuts out the middleman.
In preparation for 2012, acid tongued bloggers have formulated a credible and new form of governance, created about a triumvirate of exceptional people who would share power in intervals of 4 months apiece over a two-year cycle, permitting only one re-election. The most proficient for Yonkers’s success are the “the three amigos”, better known to Yonkersites as Bruce Ratner, Louis Cappelli, and Peter Kelly. Each has been able to amass preeminent corporate structures, incorporating an OPM [Other People's Money] philosophy. OPM is the antithesis of Robin Hood’s conduct of robbing the rich to benefit the poor. Specifically for Yonkers, Robin Hood’s philosophy will revert to robbing the poor to benefit the well to do. It seems an appropriate concept. It may not be “nice", but it will be “rough". Each of “the three amigos” will exact a return for economic development projects that will dwarf all those planned until now. Future projects will exact sizable sums from every Yonkersite before permitting a corporation, small, medium, or large, to use the funds Yonkersites will give their corporations as payment for their coming to Yonkers. Yonkersites’ investment in them will give Yonkersites great pride in offering the corporations our funds. Our children will sing songs in their name. We will serve them without concern for ourselves, happy in knowing that our lot is to pay them homage for looking in our direction. Green is a powerful color.
Posted by eric at July 16, 2010 10:00 AM