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March 16, 2007
International Speedway Corporation Launches Park Slope Bid
Learning from Staten Island, NASCAR Plans Central Brooklyn Circuit;
Cars would race down 7th Avenue to Prospect Avenue, then back up 6th Avenue to Flatbush, and back to 7th
NoLandGrab disclaimer: This just showed up this morning in our In Box. Any resemblance to the real International Speedway Corporation is purely coincidental. Any resemblance to public officials... well, you decide.
BROOKLYN– Executives of the International Speedway Corporation announced a major new initiative today, aimed at bringing the thrill of NASCAR-style racing to one of the country’s most demographically desirable markets: Park Slope, Brooklyn.
After an attempt to bring family-friendly Motorsports Entertainment™ to Staten Island, where ungrateful residents, and their short-sighted representatives in the New York City Council, gave a flat tire to plans for an 80,000-seat racetrack and “lifestyle venue,” ISC decided to take its effort to the streets – literally.
“We learned from our missteps with Staten Island,” said ISC CEO Joe King. “Our mistake was in trying to build a huge new track – communities are often resistant to large-scale construction. In Park Slope, we’re proposing to use existing streets for racing. With the help of New York City’s Department of Transportation, we look forward to establishing optimal racing conditions.”
“We’re excited about helping to bring high-speed racing to this underserved part of the borough,” said Iris Weinshall, outgoing NYC DOT Commissioner. “With the proper signal timings, drivers should be able to hit speeds of 60 or 70 miles per hour on the straightaways.” Ms. Weinshall added that the large population of small children, dogs and moms with strollers would add an “exciting, reality-type aspect” to the racing. “I think of it as my parting gift to the neighborhood,” she said.
ISC initially explored establishing their racing operation on Brooklyn’s Fourth Avenue. “But Deputy Mayor Dan Doctoroff quickly set us straight,” said King. “He told us that new luxury-condo buyers, who are a growing constituency on Fourth Avenue, aren’t typically big NASCAR fans. We checked our market research, and sure enough, he was right.” As a result, ISC decided to target the quieter local streets, instead.
In conjunction with the proposed “Atlantic Yards,” an enormous mixed-use development expected to feature huge high-rise buildings, a basketball arena and at least three Chuck E. Cheeses and six Starbucks, the ISC plan for an on-street speedway will bring true excitement to the area. “‘The culture of inertia’ won’t know what hit them when a three-ton Chevy Tahoe moving at 57 MPH blows by,” said Senator Charles Schumer, husband of the outgoing DOT Commissioner.
ISC CEO King was certain that the ugly behavior of union members – one physically assaulted a Councilmember during a public hearing on Staten Island – would not be repeated in Park Slope. “De Blasio’s too big, anyway” said King.
Commissioner Weinshall’s enthusiasm for the plan was clear. “We’re going to nominate ISC’s proposal for one of our innovation awards,” the Commissioner said. “We call them the DOTties. This is unquestionably a DOTty idea.”
International Speedway Corporation is a leading promoter of motorsports activities, currently promoting more than 100 racing events annually as well as numerous other motorsports-related activities. The Company owns and/or operates 13 of the nation's major motorsports entertainment facilities, including Daytona International Speedway in Florida, home of the Daytona 500.
Posted by lumi at March 16, 2007 1:09 PM