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August 10, 2006
BRUCE JOINS BANDWAGON, CALLS FOR MORE TIME FOR PUBLIC REVIEW
STUCKEY SAYS, "DOH!"
The Daily Snooze
By Joe King
NEW YORK, NY Developer Bruce Ratner stunned Atlantic Yards supporters and critics alike when he held a press conference yesterday on the steps of City Hall, calling on the Empire State Development Corporation to allow for more time for the public to review of the Atlantic Yards Draft Environmental Impact Statement.
The do-gooding liberal developer stated, "Fair is fair. We've had over two years to produce two-thousand pages explaining why Brooklynites will barely even notice that Atlantic Yards is there. The public needs more than two months to read the sucker and figure out we're right."
When reached for comment Forest City Ratner Atlantic Yards Development Group President James P. Stuckey replied, "Doh!"
Ratner attributed his flip-flop to concerns from project supporters, "Rog and Spitz (Assemblymember Green and Attorney General Spitz) told me that the current schedule of hearings was political suicide and that any progressive power-to-the-people mega-millionaire would give the shrill vitriolic liberal white anti-everything NIMBYs a chance to read the fine print."
Speaking at the press conference Rev. Darius N. Sundry, mentioned that "Ratner was sent by God." When asked to elaborate, Sundry added, "Jobs, Housing and what's that third thing? Hoops? yeah, Hoops!"
This announcement took Atlantic Yards Reporter Norman "the Mad Overkiller" Oder off guard. Uncharacteristically, he had nothing to say but explained that he would be posting "a 5337-word analysis of the recent development by first light."
Project critic and Develop Don't Destroy Brooklyn spokesperson Daniel Goldstein was scheduled to hold his own press conference, but was detained when he was stuck in an elevator for four hours.
Only Brooklyn Borough President and Cheerleader in Chief Marty Markowtiz remains as the sole supporter of the current review schedule. Markowitz has publicly stated (this is no joke folks!), "Extending the public-comment period to 66 days more than double the required 30 for a DEIS and holding two open public sessions, including one in September, instead of the required one, represents a fair attempt by ESDC to address the concerns of some in the community regarding a summer hearing."
Rumors that Markowitz will not be testifying at the August 23rd hearing, due to a previously scheduled family vacation, have not been confirmed or denied by the Beep's office.
Forest City Ratner spokesperson Joseph deCobbleHill was not available for comment at press time.
Posted by lumi at August 10, 2006 6:02 AM